Perfectionists! 5 Quick Therapeutic Tips to QUIET your Inner B! (Critic)

There is just SO much we are all dealing with lately, and for perfectionists it can be too much. This can create angst, worry and anxiety- leading to our inner critics getting LOUDER.

So, perfectionists, how do you silence your inner critic? Learn 5 Quick Therapeutic Tips to QUIET Your Inner B with Brooke Jean of Brooke Jean Counseling and Coaching.

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Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

Pause, Become Aware, Deep Sea Dive! Exploring Anxiety.

How do you do the deep-sea-diving to understand and gain awareness about your anxiety and triggering events? Where do you even start?

Brooke shares several signs as to how your anxiety might be manifesting, what is happening when you are feeling triggered, and what you can do with this information for your own healing and growth. Follow along and learn more from Brooke Jean with Brooke Jean Counseling and Coaching.

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Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

A Deeper Look at Anxiety and Brainspotting

Have you been feeling triggered lately? We are currently living in a pressure cooker for anxiety and it can be hard to process all.the.things. What is emerging for you and revealing itself? Now is the time to heal. Learn more and explore anxiety and the healing brainspotting modality with Brooke Jean of Brooke Jean Counseling and Coaching.

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Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

How to Heal by Feeling Your Feelings

With everything going on in the world lately, I have been calling on myself and others to search for the larger assignment inside ourselves. Meaning, what has continuously come up during these magic times where things feel like they are out of control. What we seem to collectively be finding, and feeling, are unresolved hurts emerging, letting us know we are ready to do some healing.

What feels like it might be falling apart or out of control could really be falling into place to help us be more in alignment than ever and to make some healthy shifts for ourselves and therefore the collective.

As a therapist, I often get asked:

“Well, how in the heck do I heal?”

“What does processing actually look like?”

“How do I process unresolved feelings and experiences?”

Before sharing some tangible tips on how to heal by feeling your feelings I first want to remind us of a few important things.

First, feelings are actually sensations that are held in the body and they are teachers, pointing us to something that would like our attention. They are guides to get us to notice and acknowledge something we are holding onto. Feelings can be our greatest teachers if we learn to tune into them.

Second, it’s so important that we acknowledge and move our feelings through us- otherwise they become stagnate energy in our systems that can cause other problems. It is my belief that this stagnant energy becomes vulnerable spots in the body that can host other physical ailments. When we ignore our feelings, which we often do if they are unpleasant, they become somewhat like a child in the back seat of a car on a road trip who has to go to the bathroom. They tend to start out telling us “I have to go to the bathroom.” When ignored they will tell us louder and louder until they are screaming to get our attention. Feelings are the same way. They will get louder and louder until we acknowledge them. And, they show up in sneaky and unconscious ways such as overeating, drinking too much, spending too much, picking fights, irritability, lack of motivation, etc.

We are feeling beings and when we continuously feel our feelings we become more self-aware and clear our vessels (brains, bodies, being) to be able to carry more- therefore allowing us to move through our existence more peacefully.

So, here goes… here are some ways to consciously process and feel your feelings to guide your healing:

• Designate uninterrupted time and space to sit in stillness, slow down your breath, and turn your attention inward. You can use a guided meditation to help you or you can do it on your own. Starting with the crown of your head and working all the way down to your toes, begin to scan the body to notice any sensations.

• Once you notice sensations in the body, do your best not to judge, label, or shame them. Make space for them. Meet them with curiosity. Just notice them. Ask it or them what is it they would like to bring your attention to and pay attention to the first thing that comes through for you. It may come through in the form of a thought, an image, a whisper. Whatever it is, trust it and meet it with kindness and genuine interest.

• Imagine you are making space for it in your physical body. Then imagine a bright white light above beaming warm and nurturing light on you and through you, all the way to the spot where you are holding these feelings in the body. Imagine the warm light surrounding the area and creating almost an aura around it. The light is soothing and healing.

• Next ask it what do you need? Again, whatever comes up, trust it.

• Emotions need to be in motion so, to complete the process, engage in an intentional way to move them through you. You can:

  • Talk about it with someone you trust

  • Journal about it

  • Write a letter and never send it and/or burn it

  • Spend time in nature

  • Stretch – do yoga

  • Walk/run

  • Slam medicine balls or punch a punching bag (great for anger)

  • Inner child work

  • Create – art

  • Earthing

• Lastly, if you can, befriend your feelings. Treat them like an important piece of the puzzle that is you and your life. They will guide you where you need to go and will tell you what you need to know about yourself. Feelings are there for good reason.

To feel is to heal.

The more you feel, the easier and more natural it will become. One of the myths I often encounter about feelings is fear that acknowledging them will result in getting stuck in them. Or, that they will become too powerful and overwhelming. I promise you, you have everything you need inside of you right now to work through big feelings. Even the most intense feelings only last about 90 seconds. It’s the stories we tell ourselves surrounding those feelings that keep us stuck.

If you feel the feelings, without story or judgement, breathe/move through it and it will pass.

And the more you work through them, the less likely they are to burst out unannounced.

So, here’s to consciously feeling, my friends.

May this serve in such meaningful ways.

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

Strengthening Your Roots through Meditation

Join Brooke as she shares thoughts and ideas about what meditation has done for her and what meditation can do for you. Tune into your vibrations and consciously raise your awareness through meditation. Listen for more with Brooke Jean Counseling and Coaching.

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Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

Storms Help Trees Strengthen Their Roots

It is a collective experience.

An awakening.

Im just gonna say it, an opportunity.

Whether you are raising your arm in the air whilst yelling “Heck yes, it is!!” or begrudgingly cursing my name under your breathe with yet again another wonky personal development suggestion, either is an indicator that the call is happening inside of you as well.

In other words, whether you resist the notion that we are collectively in an awakening or are already on board, you are being nudged to do the work.

What is the work you ask?

Well, that depends my friends.

I am finding that the work entails deeper healing, gaining increased awareness, letting go of what is no longer serving you in a healthy way, gaining clarity on who you are authentically, or rising to the call of your soul’s calling.

It is all about awakening our consciousness collectively.

So I ask, what can you do with this pause? What can you release to make space for whats rising in you? How can you plant and strengthen your roots to build a solid foundation for your future self to exist on, wholeheartedly?

Here are some questions to ask yourself to discover just that.

Set aside some uninterrupted quiet time and space to sit with these questions, journal what comes up, meditate or pray on it, and allow the information and feelings to find their way to you and through you.

1. What has felt energy draining lately?

2. What makes you feel yucky when you do it? (Hint: Boundary Violation!)

3. What do you say YES to that later you regret (Hello resentment, my old friend!)

4. What causes you the most guilt?

5. Who would you like to cut cords with – forgive, stop thinking about, worrying about, being tied to energetically?

6. What overwhelmed you? Think people, commitments, items/ clutter, unhelpful ways of being/ doing

7. Ask your intuition in meditation, through journaling, and in stillness what you need to let go of in order to make space for whats rising in you?

Whatever came forward when asking yourself these questions is ready and willing to be acknowledged, released, and let go. Now for the fun part, what are you making space for?

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

Settling Into Our New Normal

How are you settling into what is our 'new normal' and what is the larger spiritual assignment during this time? Listen as Brooke Jean shares her thoughts and insights on navigating our new realities.

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Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

Wellness During COVID-19

Learn how your brain and body are responding to the crisis, and how to cope to experience wellness during COVID-19

Co-Written by Brooke Jean, MA, LPCC and Kristy Eldredge, EdD, LPC, NCC, ACS

Given this time of uncertainty and change, it is common for us to respond with anxiety and fear, often getting stuck in a perpetual cycle of worry, tension, and rumination.

While we all take the practical physical health recommendations of hand washing, sanitizing, and social distancing to manage the spread of the illness, we also need to pay attention to our mental health during this time. Here are some ideas for things you can practice, even within the comfort of your own home. Remember the mind, body, and soul are connected; so attending to the wellness of each component can have an exponential effect on our overall state.

The Body

We cannot effectively manage stress and worry without getting our body involved. Our nervous system is designed to detect and respond to perceived threat – this is its primary job and it has had a LONG time (think evolution) to get this right. Understanding what our nervous system is designed to do and why it does this will allow you to interpret your physiological reactions without pathologizing them. The ability to notice and interpret our nervous system’s responses can ultimately give you the power to regulate the reactions that arise, coming back to a state of safety in your body.

Understanding the Basics of the Nervous System: here, knowledge is a huge part of the battle. Learn to translate your nervous system’s dialogue with you by watching this easy to understand (and entertaining) video:

The Polyvagal Theory: The New Science of Safety and Trauma by Seth Porges

Utilizing the Breath: sometimes we think breathing is simple. We do it all day long, right? However, when we truly breathing correctly, utilizing all areas of our lungs, reaching the air down into the diaphragm, moving the belly in and out the impact is tremendous. Spending even five minutes focusing on inhaling through the nose, exhaling through the mouth (make it audible!) can make a world of difference for your body, mind and soul. For an extra bit of fun, focus on breathing in something you need or want (peace, calm) and exhaling something you don’t need to hold onto (fear, anxiety, anger).

Grounding the body: times of stress pull our awareness into our minds and out of our bodies, which means out of the present moment. When you notice this happening, bring your attention back to the body and the present moment by engaging all of your five senses. Using the physical space around you, name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can feel, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell or taste, and finally 1 thing you appreciate about yourself in this moment. For an extra dose of grounding, wiggle your toes and heals into the floor, feeling the solidness, softness, texture, or temperature of the ground as it connects with your feat.

Exercise and yoga: although many people are choosing not to go to gyms or classes right now, it is important to continue moving our bodies, getting our heart rates up and engaging our muscles. Try out these ideas for at-home movement:

• Yoga with Adriene on YouTube.com

• Walk / run the stairs in or around your place

• Walk /run around the block or if you’re lucky enough to have a park nearby

Active Spring Cleaning: as many of us seem to be motivated to disinfect everything right now, why not make it a productive cleansing of our physical space, to model a cleanse of our emotional space, as well! Our external environment reflects and impacts our internal environment and vice versa. Plus, it’s a great way to keep your body active while inside.

Nourish your Body: whether we are healthy or under the weather, giving our body the nutrients, water, medication, and rest that it needs are frequently overlooked acts of self-love. Listen to what your body needs and respond to it. Ways we might do this include:

• Cooking healthy meals

• Drinking lots of water

• Managing the intake of substances like alcohol, marijuana, sugar, caffeine

Music and Dancing: put on the tunes and move your body! Be silly, graceful, energetic…whatever you’re feeling inside, use the music and dance to express it externally. Find a song that tells your story; use your body to convey that story. If you have someone to dance with dance to make each other laugh, smile or simply connect with (pets are great for this, too).

The Mind

Given that our minds are always active and it is part of our instinctual survival system to focus on the negative, we need to be actively practicing the redirection of our thoughts away from a non-stop spiral of worry. Give some of these strategies a try!

Audio podcasts: giving your mind a conversation or story to follow audibly can help channel the mind’s energy away from its own spiral and into a more productive direction, enjoying entertainment and learning at the same time! Here are some great ones to try:

• The Adult Chair

• 10% Happier

• Tara Brach

• Oprah’s Master Class or Super Soul Conversations

• Where Do We Begin?

• Arm Chair Experts

Meditation: practicing the art of present moment observation of our thoughts, without judgment, is an incredible exercise towards a healthier relationship with our thoughts. Meditation allows us to not be ruled by our thoughts but to instead notice them with perspective and self-awareness. Try these apps for a variety of guided meditations:

• Calm

• Headspace

• Insight Timer

• 10% Happier

• The Mindfulness App

Audio books and traditional books: Reading is an incredible way to redirect the mind when it begins to obsess and spiral. Try both the audio and written delivery to see how each can help in different ways. If you’re anything like me, you have at least a couple of books you’ve never finished on your bookshelves. Or for new options, check out these resources:

• Free Local library apps:

  • Libby, Overdrive, Kindle (yes, they access libraries), Hoopla

• Audible

• Look for inspirational books, especially!

Artwork and Creativity: channeling your thoughts, fears, and worry into works of creativity can not only help you release the energy from your mind and body but can also provide a sense of creation and accomplishment. Using creative modalities to externalize the distress also provides a fun activity to do with family, kids, and partners. Try some of these activities:

• Coloring books for all ages

• Journaling

• Use old magazines lying around the house to create a vision board for what you want your life to look like going forward

• Cooking – challenge yourself to your own version of “Chopped” a la the Food Network

• Make homemade play dough using flour, salt, boiling water, and either Kool-Aid or food coloring. Add essential oils for an additional aromatherapy element (great for sensory regulation, too)!

Compassion for all parts of yourself: we all have different sides of our selves. From the part of us that manages responsibility and works hard at our jobs, to the part that can let loose with the best of them, it is common for the different aspects of ourselves to have differing responses during times of fear and stress, as well. Especially during anxiety-producing times, check in on the young / child part in you, who likely feels afraid and not sure if they are going to be okay. Compassionate inner dialogue, just like a loving parent to a child, can reassure this part of ourselves that may be genuinely scared right now.

Spiritual or religious practice: if you identify with a spiritual belief system, engaging in this practice, especially during difficult times, can help you stay connected to something larger than the immediate events surrounding us, with a sense of love and connection. Here are some possible ways to practice connecting with your higher power, God, the universe or however you find connection with something larger than you.

• Prayer

• Meditation

• Gratitude

• Spiritual traditions and routines like reading sacred texts (Bible, Torah, Quran, etc.).

• Acts of forgiveness

• Acts of service and kindness

• Listening to meaningful music

• Giving your negative thoughts to your higher power

• Focusing on the power of nature

The Soul

Connecting with others: even if we are serious introverts, the fact is we are social beings. It is in our evolutionary history and in our cells. Thus, when we don’t have regular engagement in some way, we can feel dysregulated, lonely, and just generally unhealthy. Here are some ways to engage with others even if they aren’t in your immediate environment.

• Video phone calls

• Marco Polo app allows for sending videos back and forth

• Take pictures of what you’re doing and send to friends for picture conversations

• Look through existing photo albums

• Good old fashioned phone conversations

• Play games with others online

• Watch live streaming events such as the Seattle Symphony Orchestra

• Remind yourself that there are people in the world who truly care about you even if you aren’t currently able to connect. As your therapist, I am one of these people who cares about you!

I hope that some of these ideas will spark your interest and invite you to be active in your efforts towards wellness over anxiety during this difficult time. Focus on what you do know, the choices you do have (even if they’re not your favorites) and the ways that we can still connect with others. You certainly have your own individual go-to strategies so make sure you’re listening to yourself and nurture your own needs.

One last note, I am currently offering a BRAND NEW online series called Tame Your Anxiety: Tending To Your Nervous System. In under an hour learn how to calm your anxiety by tending to your nervous system and understanding how perceived threats affect your brain and body. Walk away with knowledge, insight, and 5 life-changing therapeutic tools.

For further support, book a call with me today

Contact co-author Kristy Eldredge, EdD, LPC, NCC, ACS:

Kristyeldredge1@gmail.com/ 720-284-2031 (p)

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

Putting the Mindfulness into March

Friends, March 2020 came in LIKE A FREAKING HURRICANE. The whole world feels turned upside down and I know many of us are deep in our feelings about the impact of COVID 19 and all of the subsequent closures. It’s scary and it can be a lot.

In my recent VLOG, I shared ways to use Mindfulness as a tool during times such as this, times of extreme uncertainty. Recognizing and creating space for the fear and anxiety at the moment is necessary, but so is also making a point to look for the good in every single day.

Here are some simple tips for helping all of us find the good in each day. These are tips to help us all stay well in our mind and body. I hope you all enjoy slowing down, pausing, and considering these tips for Mindfulness.

1. Pause and take 3 deep belly breaths.

2. Notice the clouds moving in the sky.

3. Pause and notice 5 things you see, smell, hear, taste and feel.

4. Take a walk with a smile on your face.

5. Take mini-pauses and breathe when transitioning from one thing to the next.

6. Set a timer on your phone to remind yourself to check in on your thoughts, feelings and body sensations.

7. Meditate – I love the Calm app!

8. When eating or drinking something, pause and notice the smell, texture, and taste. Slow the process down.

9. Remind yourself, you are enough. Say to yourself, I am enough.

10. When you find yourself worrying about the future, just notice you are doing it and gently bring your awareness back to the present moment by focusing on your breath.

11. Listen to your favorite music, dance and notice how that feels in your body.

12. Write out a daily mantra or intention and check in on it throughout the day.

Mindfulness is the state of being completely present, meeting your thoughts, feelings and body sensations with curiosity and acceptance- and without judgment. It is a state of being and a healthy way to regulate, connect, heal, and grow. I wish you all love, acceptance, and patience with yourself. May you have a #MindfulMarch.

Whatever came forward when asking yourself these questions is ready and willing to be acknowledged, released, and let go. Now for the fun part, what are you making space for?

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

Mindfulness During Uncertain Times

Brooke Jean explores ways to use Mindfulness as a tool during times of uncertainty. How do you create space for your feelings of fear and anxiety while also consciously noticing the good in every day? This practice is essential for keeping our minds well. Listen for more with Brooke Jean Counseling and Coaching

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Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

How to Heal From A Break-Up

Heal. Become. Thrive.

Breaking up is hard to do. Yep, indeed. Actually, quite understated. Breaking up can shake us to our core! So how do we consciously work through a love transition?

In short order: Heal. Become. Thrive

That is the model.

Take your time with this process as it is not linear and can feel rather messy. I like to use the image of an ocean, where sometimes the water feels calm and your feet are securely buried in the soft sand and with the sun, the salt, and the breeze you hold a moment of space where you feel like everything will be ok. But then the next day, TSUNAMI!!!! The waves are so tall and powerful that you fear you’ll never come up for air and if you do, you’ll never be the same.

Wherever you are at with your ocean today is safe and okay my friends.

Whether the breakup was your choice or not, there is a great deal of grief that comes with the ending of a relationship. Even if you fantasized about getting out of it for years, once you are in the process, all sorts of feelings could begin to emerge and start to flow through you.

If your boat feels completely rocked and unstable, it is normal. Keep feeling and breathing your way through it.

If you’re feeling scared and uncertain about the future, also normal, keep feeling and breathing your way through it.

Express yourself, share your feelings with someone safe or in your journal.

Openly address all that you will miss about this person and the relationship.

Remember the good times and the bad.

Take 10 minutes a day to sit alone and consciously grieve. To do this, find a space where you will not be interrupted and check in on how you are REALLY feeling that day. Let the feelings bubble up and meet them with gentle kindness. You can even acknowledge them, “There’s the sadness, the loneliness, the fear, the worry coming up.” Breathe deeply.

Take care of your physical and mental health – get outside, move your body, eat well, laugh sometimes, listen to music, talk, stretch, meditate, and sleep.

Surround yourself with love, support and connection. Whether that be a daily check-in on the phone with your bestie, asking for special accommodations at work while you move through this transition, or joining a support group.

Stay connected.

Empower yourself with knowledge about the process and other people’s experiences but be careful not to obsess and to leverage your own inner wisdom and the ultimate guidance for your path.

Visualize what life will look and feel like on the other end of this journey. Imagine yourself content and at peace, being your most authentic self, walking in the world sure of who you are and what you want out of this life.

Get clear on your values, goals, and what you want. What is one small thing you can do that moves you toward that each and every day? Honor yourself, your feelings and who you are becoming now that you have split wide open to rebuilding in a healthy and authentic way.

Transition is a time for TRANSFORMATION.

This transition is changing you, and the exciting thing is, you get to decide who you are becoming.

Often, the storm shakes us up to get us on the right path.

Chaos precedes change.

So, hold on for the ride, my dear. You have survived life up until this point, you will survive this as well.

Take the time to heal and then to become, intentionally. (Visit here to read another BJCC blog about being in Love Limbo.)

And when you honor that, you are sure to thrive again.

You are and always will be deserving of love.

If you are feeling vulnerable and in need of some support and help, we are glad you are here. Contact Brooke now and start your path to healing today. Additionally, consider further reading with BJCC’s blog about co-parenting post separation.

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

Mommy's Mental Health Matters, Series Expert: Terra LaRock

Join Brooke Jean with Brooke Jean Counseling and Coaching on her journey to exploring, sharing, and supporting all things for Mommy’s Mental Health!

In this monthly interview series, Brooke talks with other experts who are also passionate about and working to support mental health and the pressure on mothers. The first expert is Terra LaRock, CEO, and founder of The Mindful Mamas and creator of the Mindful Mama’s app.

Join Brooke and Terra as they discuss all things mindfulness, including working through anxiety, how to make a Holy shift!, and how to integrate mindfulness as a successful habit- all in this quick 30-minute series expert interview.

If you’re a mama looking for a little support and inspiration, join #BJCC’s Mommy’s Mental Health Matters group on Facebook.

Don’t forget to Subscribe on YouTube!

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

Reflect and Rise for 2020

Let's talk about New Year's resolutions and why they aren't all that great. Brooke Jean with Brooke Jean Counseling and Coaching wants to invite you to Reflect and Rise to make this coming year a magical one.

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Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

Questions To Help Reflect and Rise Edit

Use the New Year to reflect on what is working, getting to the root of what is not, and setting intentions for the year ahead.

It is inevitable. The end of the year rolls around and I get asked numerous times how I feel about resolutions. The honest answer is my usual perspective on most topics, I can see the benefits and the downfalls; I can see both sides.

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE the energy surrounding the New Year! It’s all sparkly and magical and whatnot. I love the opportunity to reflect on how I spent my time, how I felt, the impact I had, and the lessons I learned from the past 12 months. I love level setting where I am at in the larger destination of my life and my goals, which are around feeling good and being the best version of me I can be.

Reflect and Rise to make this coming year a magical one.

As a counselor and coach, I appreciate goals and believe there is so much power in clarifying what you want and how you want to feel to help guide you to where you want to be. If we don’t spend time considering what we want, saying it aloud and taking conscious daily action to get there, we might not experience the movement we desire.

So, if we are going to set intentions for the New Year my approach is to dig deep to REFLECT and RISE, which can be done answering the following questions:

What are you most proud of from 2019?

How did you grow and stretch yourself?

Where was the struggle and what did you learn? What is left in the growth journey?

When looking at where you want to be and how you want to feel – what strengths can you leverage to get there? This is all about the rise and stepping into your gems and power!

What will hold you back? Look beyond the obvious for this one. For example, if you desire to be healthy but what is getting in your way of taking the very best care of yourself is an unconscious belief that you are not worthy, well let’s do some healing and re-wiring around that belief, because it might continue to block you, even in your best efforts. Or, if your goal is to find love yet you find yourself in the pattern of sabotaging dates before they even happen, let us get to the root of the sabotage by asking what you are afraid of, how are you showing up and are you acting in alignment with what you really want? You see, people want the simple formula for success and well-being but, the truth is, we need to look under the hood for what is really influencing our thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and behaviors.

What will you need to release and shed to get where you want to go? So you can rise more easily and naturally.

What is ONE THING you can commit to daily that is in alignment with where you want to be? The RISE must include action and seeing opportunities that surround you.

Who and what support do you need?

How do you want to feel?

What will it be like when you get there? Sit in a little visualization of this. Imagine yourself where you want to be, notice how you look and feel, where you are, who you are with and just indulge in the experience. Use this technique as a motivator when you need a boost to stay the course!

In my experience, the key to making resolutions and intentions useful, meaningful, and successful, is to resolve the underlying issues that are preventing you from living and feeling your best while consciously acknowledging all that you already are and the strengths you already carry within to help you get there. It is not as simple as “I am going to lose weight” or “Get that promotion” or “Set healthier boundaries.”

It is reflecting on what is causing you to engage in unhealthy patterns – hint: we sometimes engage in these behaviors to avoid actually FEELING.

So, in the New Year, let us commit to getting to the root of things, of being worthy of healing and transformation, and of stepping into our power to feel our best and therefore do our best.

If you are interested in continuing the conversation about how YOU can Reflect and Rise in your life, view my recent Vlog about this topic or feel free to reach out directly to me here. I look forward to hearing from you!

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

Self-Care Tips for the Holidays and Beyond Edit

Sisters, we are in the throes of the holidays! Thanksgiving is already fading into memory and Christmas looms large over our days. Not to mention, we are doing ALL.THE.THINGS! With all of the parties, social gatherings, holiday festivities, and traveling to see family, the holidays can be a time when a gal gets overwhelmed and run-down.

BUT! We don’t want that to happen to you. We’ve shared some helpful ideas for keeping your spirits up and your mind and body content – so you can keep kicking booty well past the New Year.

1. Ask for help. Speak up, Mama! You can’t do it all alone and no one expects you to.

2. Say no to things that don’t really matter. Set this boundary for yourself and (most importantly) respect it.

3. Take a moment to pause, reflect, and be still. Whether you find this peace over a cup of coffee in the morning or at night after the kids are in bed, take that moment and sit in your thoughts and feelings.

4. Observe the holiday wonder around you. Kids constantly remind us of what is really important- laughter and joy, adventure and excitement, and believing in things bigger than ourselves. Let children be your guide to what matters this holiday season.

5. Indulge mindfully. It can be easy to get caught up in the indulges of the season so, if you can, slow down and eat and drink intuitively. Enjoy the smell, taste, and texture of each and every bite or sip. Allow yourself to get swept away in the deliciousness, and stop before full, or before any shame spiraling events may occur.

6. Spend consciously. Opt for gifts that prioritize mindfulness over consumerism. Choose to volunteer at a non-profit for an outing instead of meeting at a restaurant. There are lots of ways to be frivolous during the holiday season; be frivolous with love, be frivolous with compliments for others, do not be frivolous with your money.

7. Move your body every day. When it is holiday season, the sun sets early and it can be freezing cold outside. But! If anything, these are more reasons why getting exercise in every day can be crucial. Go for a walk, hit up a yoga class, or meet your friend at the gym- we guarantee you won’t regret it.

8. Drink lots of water. Give your body the loving it needs – good old fashioned H20.

9. Advocate for yourself with your family and friends. When it comes to loved ones, it can be hard to say no or feel like we are letting someone down by not doing what they want of us. However, these wishes may come at the expense of your own well-being. No matter who it is, set and stand up for your own boundaries so that you can be your best on your own terms.

10. Feel the feels, don’t brush them under the rug. The holidays bring out stress, family dynamics, past experiences, and trauma. When these instances arise, take a moment to recognize how you are feeling and why you are feeling this way. Sit in it for the moment, and let this awareness serve you instead of holding you back.

Just as the old saying goes, you cannot serve others from a dry well. Self-care is vital for keeping yourself happy and healthy, and for keeping yourself balanced with all of the other people (both big and small!) who are counting on you. Keep rocking it out, beautiful friend.

If you are feeling like you could use a touch more support than these helpful tips, we invite you to see our Vlog about Self-Care for Success, or contact Brooke Jean Counseling and Coaching. We look forward to hearing how you practice self-care!

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

Belly Breathing

Are you struggling with BIG Feelings such as stress, rage, overwhelm, anxiety, or Mom Guilt?

Does it feel like no matter what you do, you are stuck in that big feeling even though you desperately want to get out?

The reason why feelings can be so intense is because we are having a body reaction. Our nervous systems are firing away.

In this video, you will learn how to leverage Belly Breathing to calm down.

Here is why it works:

The Vagus nerve is one of the largest nerves in our systems linking our brains to our bodies.

When we engage in deep belly breathing, we tickle the bottom of the Vagus nerve, which then sends a message to our brains that we are safe and all is okay. Then, our brains release hormones that help us calm down, and when we calm our rational brain comes back online and we can take more conscious action.

Watch the video and try belly breathing when you are in the heat of any BIG FEELING and let us know how it goes for you.

Don’t forget to Subscribe on YouTube!

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

Let’s Talk Anxiety…

Friends, this month we want to talk about a little gremlin we all know called Anxiety. Join us as we break down what it is, what causes it, and how you can help yourself!

“Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S., affecting 40 million adults in the United States age 18 and older, or 18.1% of the population every year. Anxiety disorders are highly treatable, yet only 36.9% of those suffering receive treatment.”*

What is anxiety?

Anxiety can show up differently for different people and typically can be felt in the body and experienced as worrisome thoughts. These symptoms include but are not limited to:

• Tightness in the chest

• Racing heart

• Rumbling happening in your body

• Headaches, body aches, and nausea

• Feeling heavy, stuck, or frozen

• Worst case scenario thinking

• Worry about what will happen later today, tomorrow, a month from now, anytime in the future

• Feeling like something is wrong, like you’re not good enough, or something bad is going to happen

• Over planning and strategizing for things that have not yet happened

• Checking on things compulsively

What causes anxiety?

Anxiety can stem from several sources. Yet, often these sources can be categorized as biological or genetic, environmental, and/or experiential.

Biological – Basically means you were born with and inherited a likelihood to have anxiety. For example, if anxiety runs in your family, you could be hard wired and pre-dispositioned to experience anxiety as well.

Environmental – This means something in your environment is causing and triggering anxiety. Your environment would include things like your living conditions, family of origin, your culture and conditioning, how your day to day life interacts with you.

A huge environmental cause of anxiety is trauma. When our brains and bodies live through trauma, the memory gets stuck in the mid-brain and the energy gets stuck in the body, and both can cause anxiety. When these things happen, we tend to feel unsafe, therefore needing to constantly scan our environment for safety, which can feel like anxiety.

When we don’t know what to expect from our environment, we develop a keen ability to sense other people’s moods and energies which can manifest as anxiety. Growing up in an environment that was not safe, where one or both parents were abusive or had substance abuse problems, being bullied, or experiencing humiliation are all examples of environmental causes of anxiety. Also included in that list: being frightened, getting into car accidents, or being confronted or surprised in a scary way.

Click here for a brief video about Trauma and the Brain.

Experiential – This can stem from something being incongruent inside of you. If you are not living in alignment with who you really are and with your values, it could be causing anxiety. Think mid-life crises, which I call “awakenings.” Being in transition causes so much anxiety because you are figuring out how to get through it while discovering who you are becoming. This unknowing and confusion lends itself to questioning, predicting scary outcomes, and fear.

Looking at the source of your anxiety can inform what is needed to treat the anxiety, while also igniting a compassionate and loving understanding of who you are and why you are feeling the anxiety. And also, knowing the root isn’t always ESSENTIAL to healing and learning how to cope with your anxiety.

Tips for helping you navigate anxiety:

Everything begins and ends with awareness, being present, and knowing the one thing you can always control are your inhales and exhales (which have unlimited power and resources in them!)

Slow down and begin to notice your anxiety and how it is showing up for you. Name it and call it out for what it is… just the anxiety showing up. You are not an anxious person- you are experiencing anxiety. Treat this experience as if it were a visitor coming and going. Doing this puts distance between the anxiety and your response to it, externalization is so powerful.

Take 10 belly breaths throughout your day. (What are belly breaths? Click here to learn more!)

Set a time on your phone to check in on your anxiety 2 times a day, and just notice where it is at and ask yourself what you need in that moment.

Go on a walk or MOVE YOUR BODY! Emotions need to be IN MOTION so moving them through your body is so helpful.

Take a bath or do something calming and nurturing for your body.

Get a weighted blanket.

Do something with your hands like paint or crochet.

Pay attention to what the anxiety might be drawing your attention to. For example, perhaps the anxiety is warning you to get out of an unhealthy relationship, or to release something that is no longer serving you, or to switch careers.

Find the right therapist for you. They will be your touchstone for a comprehensive treatment plan. Healing and reprocessing trauma you have experienced is going to be key. We encourage Brainspotting for trauma work, which you can learn more about here.

This is only scratching the surface on a really big topic that impacts so many of us. If you feel like you would benefit from additional support, reach out to Brooke Jean and let’s help you manage it, rather than letting it manage you.

In the month of November, Brooke will be sharing more anxiety tips LIVE on her Brooke Jean Counseling and Coaching Facebook – be sure to tune in!

*Resource: ADAA – Anxiety and Depression Association of America

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

How to Kick Mom Guilt to the Curb – A Tip!

If you are in the same Mom Guilt basket as the rest of us, it is okay, mama! Noticing the cycle of mom guilt, and what you keep “should-ing” yourself about, is part of the process in breaking free from this voice. In order to kick this Mom Guilt to the curb, we need to put in the work to uncover the unconscious beliefs we tell ourselves about what it means to be a “good mom.”

Most moms are all too well aware of it… the voice. You know the voice, that nagging one in the back of your head. It’s the voice that says you should have done more for your kids… you should have shown up to that game when you had a conflicting client meeting, or you should have made the birthday treats from scratch instead of store bought. We like to call that voice Mom Guilt.

Many of these beliefs that we hold as ultimate mom truths stem from antiquated standards. From the time we are young women we are observing and absorbing what it means to be a good enough mom, whether from our own mothers and grandmothers or from main-stream media. These influences tend to set the “rules” we should live by, or the standards we should hold ourselves to. This is SILLY. Guess what ladies, having a home cooked meal on the table every night, and being on the PTA, and managing a career, and getting the kids to practice, and doing household chores, and having a side hustle, it just doesn’t all work anymore.

We are all stretched way too thin and in way too many different directions to hold these standards as truths. The image of the modern mom has to adapt and update to the current world we are in, and this means being kinder and gentler to ourselves about not having homemade dinners on the table or having to miss that game. When you feel yourself being pulled into the Mom Guilt, and before you go beating yourself up, follow these steps in fighting the cycle:

• Stop and identify the belief before it gets going.

• Take time to examine the belief.

  • Is it true?

  • Is it helpful?

  • Is it relevant?

• Proceed in your truest self!

So mama, the next time you are feeling like crap and that oh-so-annoying Mom Guilt voice is getting louder in your head, stop yourself and ask these questions. Put that Mom Guilt in its place… on the curb with all the other junk that no longer serves you.

If you would like to explore more action items for handling Mom Guilt we invite you to learn about our Kick Mom Guilt To The Curb online course. Or, contact Brooke with Brooke Jean Counseling and Coaching.

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

5 Signs You're Struggling with Mom Guilt

Are you a mama struggling with Mom Guilt?

If so, you are so not alone, sister.

I have yet to meet one single mama who hasn’t experienced some form of Mom Guilt.

In my most recent vlog, I share 5 signs you are struggling with Mom Guilt, and some tips on what you can do about it.

In a nutshell – our conditioning (messages we received growing up) about what at “good enough” Mom looks like have developed unconscious beliefs about what we “should” and “should not” be doing.

When we don’t follow the rules, we experience Mom Guilt.

BUT these old rules we are living by are not always true, relevant, or helpful.

We also struggle to notice how amazing we already are, thanks to our brain’s evolution.

AND we often have an area we do need to level up on to reduce Mom Guilt.

Check out the video to learn the signs…

To join my mailing list to be the FIRST to receive the launch of my course “Kick Mom Guilt to the CURB!” Get access here.

If you’re a mama looking for support, learn more about how I can help here!

Join my private FB group for connection and laughs here.

Don’t forget to Subscribe on YouTube!

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

Effective ways you can improve your Self-Esteem doing inner child work.

Effective ways you can improve your Self-Esteem doing inner child work.

Are you struggling with knowing your worth, and are feeling ready to improve your self-esteem?

You are amongst many, my friend.

How is it that we can see the good in others but struggle to honor the same in ourselves? Well…because we lost sight of who we were before the world told us who we are supposed to be.

Growing up, we absorbed all sort of messages about who and what we were supposed to be and those around us only validated or invalidated those theories. For example, “Thats a good girl!” Does that resonate with you? Just by hearing that message, you may have internalized that being polite, respectful and without an opinion meant being a “good girl.” So, you may have learned to behave that way which still shows up today in your personal or professional world.

Perhaps you got praise when you scored the winning goal in your sport or when you brought home straight A’s, which led you to learn that perfect performance equals worth and praise. Insert the beginning of your perfectionistic tendencies…

What you were told from your parents and any other influential people growing up became part of your internal dialogue. If you heard you are bad, your inner critic might be telling you that you are bad. The problem is, just because we have those thoughts, feelings and beliefs does not mean they are true and/ or helpful.

The world’s expectations of us are relentless and never-ending. It’s an impossible task keeping up, and as a result, our positive and healthy feelings regarding ourselves begin deteriorating.

Low self-esteem is usually a result of not knowing yourself, knowing your worth, living authentically and owning both your strengths and struggles. To have healthy self- esteem, you can start by discovering who you really are and working toward full acceptance, beginning with your inner child.

So, if you’re ready to improve your self-esteem, set some time aside to reflect, look at old pictures and videos and journal.

Ask yourself who you were when you were little.

What interests, natural strengths and passions did you hold?

What were your deepest values, and how was your identity formulated?

What were you naturally good at and was there a period of time when you deviated from that path or focus?

More times that not, we heard a disapproving message from an influential adult who told us our work wasn’t good enough, so we ditched it and never looked back. Maybe you haven’t written a poem since your English teacher humiliated you in front of your peers. Or haven’t played your instrument or that sport or tried something new because you have a belief that it’ll never be good enough.

Throughout this reflection, you are basically giving a voice to your inner child, remembering what mattered most to him/ her so you can reconnect to that person and bring him/ her back, ultimately strengthening your current sense of self. Because you are awesome, just the way you organically are.

If your inner child had something to say, or needs that weren’t meant, it can very powerful in therapy to do some deeper work with him/ her to heal parts of your past and re-develop in a more congruent and healthy way.

From a place of knowing your gifts AND being okay with your imperfections, you can begin to improve your self-esteem and begin living more authentically, which often times, promotes stepping into your light and power and living well.

That is my hope for you and all of us. I am right there with you on this journey of becoming.

And if you would like to learn more about this work or need support, don’t be afraid to reach out here!

And if you would like to learn more about this work or need support, don’t be afraid to reach out!

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean