Surviving a Pandemic: More Food, Wine & Amazon Prime Edit

It’s 5 o’clock MST here in Denver, CO and for the sixth or seventh day in a row, I have been fighting extreme nausea all day. The kind where you are afraid you are going to have to excuse yourself in the middle of a counseling session to go hurl in the restroom kind of nausea. A deep and intense discomfort in my belly has been brewing for days and has caused an uproar to all my internal and external systems. I can’t eat, I am anxious, sweating non-stop, unsettled, and wildly uncomfortable. I am drinking too much wine to try and make all the symptoms go away.

It is 2020 – the ultimate WTF year. The year that put all perceived challenging years prior in perspective. Just a bit ago, COVID-19 hit the scene and the world took a pause to brace themselves for what would throw our lives upside down in every possible way. Watching the news on the hour to hear updates and learn new information, while watching the toll of lives lost and those affected by the pandemic increasing completely exacerbated my anxiety tenfold.

To make matters worse, my go-to coping strategies during the toughest times are to start to take on the entire world’s problems, attempt desperately to regain control- which shows up as perfectionism, performing, and irritability, and to numb out by eating too much, drinking too much, and spending too much. In doing so, my anxiety and self-loathing goes next level. I find myself saying yes to all the things, trying to adjust to the new normal with ungodly high standards on myself, just to overextend myself, feel resentful, and end up crashed on the bathroom floor telling myself what a complete and total failure I am. Then more food, wine, and Amazon Prime. I am in a vicious cycle just trying to survive.

Yes, I am a therapist.

I know better, I really do try every single day. I am always a work in progress and willing to do the hard work. Yet, during times like these in 2020, I can no longer hold it all together and exist the same way I have been.

It was in my darkest hour, hugging the toilet petrified and unbearably uncomfortable, where I heard the whisper, “You have a job to do.”

“What do you mean I have a job to do? I do all the fucking jobs. Just living is one big job. Someone else needs to do the job.”

As much as I want to avoid the whisper at all costs, I have a deep inner knowing that if I don’t listen, figure out what the job is and break out of this self-destructive cycle, I simply will not survive the pandemic.

There just has to be a better way to navigate such madness.

Per usual, it was in a still moment that “my job” came to me.

I have to find a way to fully discover and recover me.

For me, and perhaps so many of you, the pandemic has become a pressure cooker for change. In the midst of chaos, the parts of me that are ready to be acknowledged, healed, and aligned are quickly emerging to the surface. I have a new energy around discovering all parts of myself while removing the things that no longer serve me- such as becoming more mindful and courageously evaluating my relationship with alcohol. Spiritual alignment and discovering my superpowers are supporting me mentally and emotionally so much.

I am documenting my journey and am working to turn my story into a guide to help others navigate the uncertainty, loss of control, and complete shit show that is this existential crisis we are living in. I want to inspire and empower individuals to use this great split in time to step forward, emerge, and break down the barriers that have held them down for so long. To discover their light, live in it, and lead the way for others to do the same. And finally, to see this crazy hard time as a spiritual assignment that transforms all of us in such meaningful ways, ultimately paving way for the feminine to rise.

This work matters right now…

Across the globe, no one is exempt from this unthinkable pressure cooker we are stuck living in. The pandemic, along with the racial justice movement, has such enormous energies emerging individually and collectively, and it is having an unprecedented impact on our mental health.

When humans face danger, especially of this magnitude, they subconsciously enter a trauma response. With no control over the matter and no real security in what is happening, our nervous systems are in overdrive. Being in a trauma response, we act in either a fight, flight, freeze, or shut all the way down mode. Typically, this has us acting out of character and shows us parts of ourselves that need attention. Being triggered in these uncertain times, we are finding ourselves reverting back to old patterns. Maybe you were in the recovery of an eating disorder, and then the pandemic hit, and now it is the one way you can feel a sense of control. Or, maybe your drinking was no longer a concern but now you find yourself drinking 1-2 bottles of wine a night just to shut out all the noise. Maybe your credit card is maxed and you keep getting shipments you don’t even remember purchasing. Or, you’re working sixty-five hour work weeks again. Or, sexting that abusive ex-boyfriend.

This can either be a time when we repeat destructive patterns or an opportunity to do the inner work to break free and level the F up.

I invite you to witness my journey and to take any tidbit that may be helpful for you.

May you be loved, healthy, and well during these wild times.

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

Storms Help Trees Strengthen Their Roots

It is a collective experience.

An awakening.

Im just gonna say it, an opportunity.

Whether you are raising your arm in the air whilst yelling “Heck yes, it is!!” or begrudgingly cursing my name under your breathe with yet again another wonky personal development suggestion, either is an indicator that the call is happening inside of you as well.

In other words, whether you resist the notion that we are collectively in an awakening or are already on board, you are being nudged to do the work.

What is the work you ask?

Well, that depends my friends.

I am finding that the work entails deeper healing, gaining increased awareness, letting go of what is no longer serving you in a healthy way, gaining clarity on who you are authentically, or rising to the call of your soul’s calling.

It is all about awakening our consciousness collectively.

So I ask, what can you do with this pause? What can you release to make space for whats rising in you? How can you plant and strengthen your roots to build a solid foundation for your future self to exist on, wholeheartedly?

Here are some questions to ask yourself to discover just that.

Set aside some uninterrupted quiet time and space to sit with these questions, journal what comes up, meditate or pray on it, and allow the information and feelings to find their way to you and through you.

1. What has felt energy draining lately?

2. What makes you feel yucky when you do it? (Hint: Boundary Violation!)

3. What do you say YES to that later you regret (Hello resentment, my old friend!)

4. What causes you the most guilt?

5. Who would you like to cut cords with – forgive, stop thinking about, worrying about, being tied to energetically?

6. What overwhelmed you? Think people, commitments, items/ clutter, unhelpful ways of being/ doing

7. Ask your intuition in meditation, through journaling, and in stillness what you need to let go of in order to make space for whats rising in you?

Whatever came forward when asking yourself these questions is ready and willing to be acknowledged, released, and let go. Now for the fun part, what are you making space for?

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

Wellness During COVID-19

Learn how your brain and body are responding to the crisis, and how to cope to experience wellness during COVID-19

Co-Written by Brooke Jean, MA, LPCC and Kristy Eldredge, EdD, LPC, NCC, ACS

Given this time of uncertainty and change, it is common for us to respond with anxiety and fear, often getting stuck in a perpetual cycle of worry, tension, and rumination.

While we all take the practical physical health recommendations of hand washing, sanitizing, and social distancing to manage the spread of the illness, we also need to pay attention to our mental health during this time. Here are some ideas for things you can practice, even within the comfort of your own home. Remember the mind, body, and soul are connected; so attending to the wellness of each component can have an exponential effect on our overall state.

The Body

We cannot effectively manage stress and worry without getting our body involved. Our nervous system is designed to detect and respond to perceived threat – this is its primary job and it has had a LONG time (think evolution) to get this right. Understanding what our nervous system is designed to do and why it does this will allow you to interpret your physiological reactions without pathologizing them. The ability to notice and interpret our nervous system’s responses can ultimately give you the power to regulate the reactions that arise, coming back to a state of safety in your body.

Understanding the Basics of the Nervous System: here, knowledge is a huge part of the battle. Learn to translate your nervous system’s dialogue with you by watching this easy to understand (and entertaining) video:

The Polyvagal Theory: The New Science of Safety and Trauma by Seth Porges

Utilizing the Breath: sometimes we think breathing is simple. We do it all day long, right? However, when we truly breathing correctly, utilizing all areas of our lungs, reaching the air down into the diaphragm, moving the belly in and out the impact is tremendous. Spending even five minutes focusing on inhaling through the nose, exhaling through the mouth (make it audible!) can make a world of difference for your body, mind and soul. For an extra bit of fun, focus on breathing in something you need or want (peace, calm) and exhaling something you don’t need to hold onto (fear, anxiety, anger).

Grounding the body: times of stress pull our awareness into our minds and out of our bodies, which means out of the present moment. When you notice this happening, bring your attention back to the body and the present moment by engaging all of your five senses. Using the physical space around you, name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can feel, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell or taste, and finally 1 thing you appreciate about yourself in this moment. For an extra dose of grounding, wiggle your toes and heals into the floor, feeling the solidness, softness, texture, or temperature of the ground as it connects with your feat.

Exercise and yoga: although many people are choosing not to go to gyms or classes right now, it is important to continue moving our bodies, getting our heart rates up and engaging our muscles. Try out these ideas for at-home movement:

• Yoga with Adriene on YouTube.com

• Walk / run the stairs in or around your place

• Walk /run around the block or if you’re lucky enough to have a park nearby

Active Spring Cleaning: as many of us seem to be motivated to disinfect everything right now, why not make it a productive cleansing of our physical space, to model a cleanse of our emotional space, as well! Our external environment reflects and impacts our internal environment and vice versa. Plus, it’s a great way to keep your body active while inside.

Nourish your Body: whether we are healthy or under the weather, giving our body the nutrients, water, medication, and rest that it needs are frequently overlooked acts of self-love. Listen to what your body needs and respond to it. Ways we might do this include:

• Cooking healthy meals

• Drinking lots of water

• Managing the intake of substances like alcohol, marijuana, sugar, caffeine

Music and Dancing: put on the tunes and move your body! Be silly, graceful, energetic…whatever you’re feeling inside, use the music and dance to express it externally. Find a song that tells your story; use your body to convey that story. If you have someone to dance with dance to make each other laugh, smile or simply connect with (pets are great for this, too).

The Mind

Given that our minds are always active and it is part of our instinctual survival system to focus on the negative, we need to be actively practicing the redirection of our thoughts away from a non-stop spiral of worry. Give some of these strategies a try!

Audio podcasts: giving your mind a conversation or story to follow audibly can help channel the mind’s energy away from its own spiral and into a more productive direction, enjoying entertainment and learning at the same time! Here are some great ones to try:

• The Adult Chair

• 10% Happier

• Tara Brach

• Oprah’s Master Class or Super Soul Conversations

• Where Do We Begin?

• Arm Chair Experts

Meditation: practicing the art of present moment observation of our thoughts, without judgment, is an incredible exercise towards a healthier relationship with our thoughts. Meditation allows us to not be ruled by our thoughts but to instead notice them with perspective and self-awareness. Try these apps for a variety of guided meditations:

• Calm

• Headspace

• Insight Timer

• 10% Happier

• The Mindfulness App

Audio books and traditional books: Reading is an incredible way to redirect the mind when it begins to obsess and spiral. Try both the audio and written delivery to see how each can help in different ways. If you’re anything like me, you have at least a couple of books you’ve never finished on your bookshelves. Or for new options, check out these resources:

• Free Local library apps:

  • Libby, Overdrive, Kindle (yes, they access libraries), Hoopla

• Audible

• Look for inspirational books, especially!

Artwork and Creativity: channeling your thoughts, fears, and worry into works of creativity can not only help you release the energy from your mind and body but can also provide a sense of creation and accomplishment. Using creative modalities to externalize the distress also provides a fun activity to do with family, kids, and partners. Try some of these activities:

• Coloring books for all ages

• Journaling

• Use old magazines lying around the house to create a vision board for what you want your life to look like going forward

• Cooking – challenge yourself to your own version of “Chopped” a la the Food Network

• Make homemade play dough using flour, salt, boiling water, and either Kool-Aid or food coloring. Add essential oils for an additional aromatherapy element (great for sensory regulation, too)!

Compassion for all parts of yourself: we all have different sides of our selves. From the part of us that manages responsibility and works hard at our jobs, to the part that can let loose with the best of them, it is common for the different aspects of ourselves to have differing responses during times of fear and stress, as well. Especially during anxiety-producing times, check in on the young / child part in you, who likely feels afraid and not sure if they are going to be okay. Compassionate inner dialogue, just like a loving parent to a child, can reassure this part of ourselves that may be genuinely scared right now.

Spiritual or religious practice: if you identify with a spiritual belief system, engaging in this practice, especially during difficult times, can help you stay connected to something larger than the immediate events surrounding us, with a sense of love and connection. Here are some possible ways to practice connecting with your higher power, God, the universe or however you find connection with something larger than you.

• Prayer

• Meditation

• Gratitude

• Spiritual traditions and routines like reading sacred texts (Bible, Torah, Quran, etc.).

• Acts of forgiveness

• Acts of service and kindness

• Listening to meaningful music

• Giving your negative thoughts to your higher power

• Focusing on the power of nature

The Soul

Connecting with others: even if we are serious introverts, the fact is we are social beings. It is in our evolutionary history and in our cells. Thus, when we don’t have regular engagement in some way, we can feel dysregulated, lonely, and just generally unhealthy. Here are some ways to engage with others even if they aren’t in your immediate environment.

• Video phone calls

• Marco Polo app allows for sending videos back and forth

• Take pictures of what you’re doing and send to friends for picture conversations

• Look through existing photo albums

• Good old fashioned phone conversations

• Play games with others online

• Watch live streaming events such as the Seattle Symphony Orchestra

• Remind yourself that there are people in the world who truly care about you even if you aren’t currently able to connect. As your therapist, I am one of these people who cares about you!

I hope that some of these ideas will spark your interest and invite you to be active in your efforts towards wellness over anxiety during this difficult time. Focus on what you do know, the choices you do have (even if they’re not your favorites) and the ways that we can still connect with others. You certainly have your own individual go-to strategies so make sure you’re listening to yourself and nurture your own needs.

One last note, I am currently offering a BRAND NEW online series called Tame Your Anxiety: Tending To Your Nervous System. In under an hour learn how to calm your anxiety by tending to your nervous system and understanding how perceived threats affect your brain and body. Walk away with knowledge, insight, and 5 life-changing therapeutic tools.

For further support, book a call with me today

Contact co-author Kristy Eldredge, EdD, LPC, NCC, ACS:

Kristyeldredge1@gmail.com/ 720-284-2031 (p)

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

Putting the Mindfulness into March

Friends, March 2020 came in LIKE A FREAKING HURRICANE. The whole world feels turned upside down and I know many of us are deep in our feelings about the impact of COVID 19 and all of the subsequent closures. It’s scary and it can be a lot.

In my recent VLOG, I shared ways to use Mindfulness as a tool during times such as this, times of extreme uncertainty. Recognizing and creating space for the fear and anxiety at the moment is necessary, but so is also making a point to look for the good in every single day.

Here are some simple tips for helping all of us find the good in each day. These are tips to help us all stay well in our mind and body. I hope you all enjoy slowing down, pausing, and considering these tips for Mindfulness.

1. Pause and take 3 deep belly breaths.

2. Notice the clouds moving in the sky.

3. Pause and notice 5 things you see, smell, hear, taste and feel.

4. Take a walk with a smile on your face.

5. Take mini-pauses and breathe when transitioning from one thing to the next.

6. Set a timer on your phone to remind yourself to check in on your thoughts, feelings and body sensations.

7. Meditate – I love the Calm app!

8. When eating or drinking something, pause and notice the smell, texture, and taste. Slow the process down.

9. Remind yourself, you are enough. Say to yourself, I am enough.

10. When you find yourself worrying about the future, just notice you are doing it and gently bring your awareness back to the present moment by focusing on your breath.

11. Listen to your favorite music, dance and notice how that feels in your body.

12. Write out a daily mantra or intention and check in on it throughout the day.

Mindfulness is the state of being completely present, meeting your thoughts, feelings and body sensations with curiosity and acceptance- and without judgment. It is a state of being and a healthy way to regulate, connect, heal, and grow. I wish you all love, acceptance, and patience with yourself. May you have a #MindfulMarch.

Whatever came forward when asking yourself these questions is ready and willing to be acknowledged, released, and let go. Now for the fun part, what are you making space for?

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

Being In Transition: Part III – Adjusting to Your New Normal

Being in transition is a lot like being on a spiritual journey. The experience is one where you’re confused, in a state of seeking, and not as connected as you would like to be. Just entering the process, you are aware there is a shift taking place in you. You suspect in some ways you are different, but not yet sure exactly how and in what ways. You may even have difficulty expressing this journey you are on to those you love.

You might be a new Mom and your entire role and identity just changed dramatically, making your entire life’s focus around one thing: keeping the tiny human alive. But you might be wondering where the other parts of yourself have gone? Or you might be newly divorced and have no clue how to socialize and court someone you are attracted to. And yet you know deep down you haven’t completely lost your sexy.

In my last two blogs, I have encouraged folks who are in a love, life or career transition to leverage a three step process to guide them through. I have suggested to take time to consciously grieve what and who you were before the transition took place.

Then I offered a potential shift in your mindset that can be helpful while being in transition. To begin to see this often scary and confusing time as an opportunity. An opportunity to become and change coarse. To determine who you will be going forward and how to begin to design your new life. Read the previous blogs here > https://brookejeanllc.com/news/

And once you have arrived to the part of the process where you are crafting the new normal, its time to try this evolved self and life on, and my hope is that you enter this part of the journey with a new sense of clarity and confidence.

But don’t get me wrong, this part takes COURAGE.

You may have fears surfacing that are showing up as thoughts questioning whether or not this new way of being you will be accepted and even liked by others.

This is the adjustment period.

And like most things, it starts and ends with connection.

You don’t have to navigate these new waters alone. Call on your single friends to take you out for a night out. Join your local new Mommy’s support group. Make friends with your neighbor. Reach out to your mentor, old colleagues, your coach or counselor.

Surround yourself with cheerleaders and supporters. This is crucial. Not everyone will understand your journey, and thats OK. You have to live for you!

Get uber intentional with your time. Ensure your priorities are reflected on your calendar and treated with as much respect as a doctor’s appointment. Carve out time for your health, for connection and FUN.

Know that change is hard for all of us.

But we must be adaptable. As a new Mom, a divorcee, an empty nester, back to work career professional, whatever, your days will absolutely look and feel different. Try not to run from this.

Acknowledge it. Honor your feelings around it. And visualize yourself living your best life. Remember why its important to get to that end goal and what its all about.

I know its really tough right now, adapting to your new norm. You might be questioning whether or not you made the “right choices.” Perhaps you are crying while breastfeeding in the middle of the night, in pain and feeling alone. Perhaps you feel empty inside coming home to an empty apartment. Perhaps you are staying late in the office to acclimate and get your bearings on, feeling lonely and wondering what its all worth.

But this is only temporary. It won’t always feel this way. Remember your WHY. You wanted that family, out of that shitty marriage, or the lifestyle that new position at work creates for you.

In order to design the life we want, we have to accept that if we want different, we must be different. We must consciously choose what seems difficult, challenging, maybe even impossible. We have to grieve, become, and adjust.

BUT…on the other side of all of this is a more true and authentic version of you and a life that you experience as ultimately fulfilling. On the other side is feeling free, maybe even inspired and energized. You’ll get to experience new people, places and things.

Witnessing folks come out the other side of this spiritual journey and watching them thrive in ways they didn’t know was possible is what its all about. And what’s cool is that each of us may cycle through this evolution many times in our lives, getting us closer and closer to being who we are meant to be and making the impact we are meant to make. What an true honor and privilege this work is!

Wherever you are in your journey, I applaud you for making it this far and want to lovingly remind you to grieve, become and adjust.

If you or someone you know is in a love, life or career transition and would benefit from having a counselor and coach to guide them through.

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean