What does it mean to become an unPERFECTED Mama?

Today's working mom is secretly suffering to a staggering degree in an attempt to be the perfect (fill in the blank); mom, partner, boss, daughter, sister, neighbor, school volunteer, host, chef, yogi, community leader--you get the point. She is managing the mental load of her home, family, pets, social circles and professional peeps, while trying to keep the house in order, everyone fed, and all hearts tended to without completely losing her shit. She’s beyond stressed wondering if she’s having enough sex with her partner, making healthy-enough meals, providing sensory friendly-enough activities and maintaining a toxin-free- enough home. She’s haphazardly juggling working from home with the kids’ on again off again remote learning and her partner being in her space 24/7, all while trying to close her Apple watch’s exercise ring. Oh, and don’t forget she’s also obligated to uphold gramma’s values in today’s doings and needs to get her mustache waxed ASAP.

If it sounds downright impossible, it’s because it is. And it’s killing her--and me.

The messages we have been absorbing throughout history have become our internal conditioned beliefs and have defined and deeply influenced how we think, feel and behave. On top of all that, today’s media messaging and the influx of information being shoved down our throats is designed to reinforce the belief that we are not enough and how much more we should be doing. This false image leads us to believe there is something wrong with us, when in all reality, the truth is that there is something wrong with the SYSTEM. And because our brains have evolved to keep us safe, sense danger, and compare ourselves to others, we are keenly aware of the never-ending rise in expectations and are desperately trying to meet them. At the cost of our health, authenticity, wellbeing, dreams, goals, desires, and ultimate truths.

Therefore, it should come as no alarming surprise that there is a direct parallel between the increase in responsibilities, workload, pressure and societal expectations on mom along with a frightening increase in her mental health conditions. Across the board we are seeing rapid jumps in things like substance use disorder (SUD), with most recent studies indicating women’s drinking is at an all time high, staggering increases in overall mental health disorders such as anxiety, depression, PTSD, and suicide rates.

Why? Because trying to be all the things to all the people while upholding old-school values and traditions is literally making us sick. Deteriorating our mental, emotional and physical health.

Enter, becoming unPERFECTED where I invite and strongly encourage you, mama, to embrace who you were before the world told you who you’re supposed to be, to harness the messiness and lean into your next-level cray.        

To find the beauty in reality, to normalize normal and to stop doing shit that doesn’t light you up!

Becoming unPERFECTED is about learning to consciously grieve who you were, the life you had and the ideal of how things would be while learning that you have many parts that are perhaps lost or hidden that need an invitation back to your table of life.    

Being unPERFECTED includes learning how to set boundaries such as learning to lower the bar, that NO is a full f’n sentence and how to protect your energy. Learning the importance of how to connect to your intuition, how to navigate change in a healthy way, how to find a mama community you can be real with. This is an opportunity to excavate your gems and integrate them into your being while also clarifying your core values which will become an internal GPS system. 

So, mama, are you ready to shed the shoulds, eff the filters and stop perfecting your life so you can actually start LIVING it?

Then join the waitlist now for my signature group coaching program The unPERFECTED Mama.

Learn more about the program here.

In short order, Perfection is OUT folks. unPERFECTED is IN.

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

Surviving a Pandemic: More Food, Wine & Amazon Prime Edit

It’s 5 o’clock MST here in Denver, CO and for the sixth or seventh day in a row, I have been fighting extreme nausea all day. The kind where you are afraid you are going to have to excuse yourself in the middle of a counseling session to go hurl in the restroom kind of nausea. A deep and intense discomfort in my belly has been brewing for days and has caused an uproar to all my internal and external systems. I can’t eat, I am anxious, sweating non-stop, unsettled, and wildly uncomfortable. I am drinking too much wine to try and make all the symptoms go away.

It is 2020 – the ultimate WTF year. The year that put all perceived challenging years prior in perspective. Just a bit ago, COVID-19 hit the scene and the world took a pause to brace themselves for what would throw our lives upside down in every possible way. Watching the news on the hour to hear updates and learn new information, while watching the toll of lives lost and those affected by the pandemic increasing completely exacerbated my anxiety tenfold.

To make matters worse, my go-to coping strategies during the toughest times are to start to take on the entire world’s problems, attempt desperately to regain control- which shows up as perfectionism, performing, and irritability, and to numb out by eating too much, drinking too much, and spending too much. In doing so, my anxiety and self-loathing goes next level. I find myself saying yes to all the things, trying to adjust to the new normal with ungodly high standards on myself, just to overextend myself, feel resentful, and end up crashed on the bathroom floor telling myself what a complete and total failure I am. Then more food, wine, and Amazon Prime. I am in a vicious cycle just trying to survive.

Yes, I am a therapist.

I know better, I really do try every single day. I am always a work in progress and willing to do the hard work. Yet, during times like these in 2020, I can no longer hold it all together and exist the same way I have been.

It was in my darkest hour, hugging the toilet petrified and unbearably uncomfortable, where I heard the whisper, “You have a job to do.”

“What do you mean I have a job to do? I do all the fucking jobs. Just living is one big job. Someone else needs to do the job.”

As much as I want to avoid the whisper at all costs, I have a deep inner knowing that if I don’t listen, figure out what the job is and break out of this self-destructive cycle, I simply will not survive the pandemic.

There just has to be a better way to navigate such madness.

Per usual, it was in a still moment that “my job” came to me.

I have to find a way to fully discover and recover me.

For me, and perhaps so many of you, the pandemic has become a pressure cooker for change. In the midst of chaos, the parts of me that are ready to be acknowledged, healed, and aligned are quickly emerging to the surface. I have a new energy around discovering all parts of myself while removing the things that no longer serve me- such as becoming more mindful and courageously evaluating my relationship with alcohol. Spiritual alignment and discovering my superpowers are supporting me mentally and emotionally so much.

I am documenting my journey and am working to turn my story into a guide to help others navigate the uncertainty, loss of control, and complete shit show that is this existential crisis we are living in. I want to inspire and empower individuals to use this great split in time to step forward, emerge, and break down the barriers that have held them down for so long. To discover their light, live in it, and lead the way for others to do the same. And finally, to see this crazy hard time as a spiritual assignment that transforms all of us in such meaningful ways, ultimately paving way for the feminine to rise.

This work matters right now…

Across the globe, no one is exempt from this unthinkable pressure cooker we are stuck living in. The pandemic, along with the racial justice movement, has such enormous energies emerging individually and collectively, and it is having an unprecedented impact on our mental health.

When humans face danger, especially of this magnitude, they subconsciously enter a trauma response. With no control over the matter and no real security in what is happening, our nervous systems are in overdrive. Being in a trauma response, we act in either a fight, flight, freeze, or shut all the way down mode. Typically, this has us acting out of character and shows us parts of ourselves that need attention. Being triggered in these uncertain times, we are finding ourselves reverting back to old patterns. Maybe you were in the recovery of an eating disorder, and then the pandemic hit, and now it is the one way you can feel a sense of control. Or, maybe your drinking was no longer a concern but now you find yourself drinking 1-2 bottles of wine a night just to shut out all the noise. Maybe your credit card is maxed and you keep getting shipments you don’t even remember purchasing. Or, you’re working sixty-five hour work weeks again. Or, sexting that abusive ex-boyfriend.

This can either be a time when we repeat destructive patterns or an opportunity to do the inner work to break free and level the F up.

I invite you to witness my journey and to take any tidbit that may be helpful for you.

May you be loved, healthy, and well during these wild times.

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

Leaders: See the Light in YOU and your TEAM!

One piece of what Brooke Jean does is coaching and consulting workshops for organizational leaders and their teams. Learn more about her approach and why she believes that success is an inside job.

Don’t forget to Subscribe on YouTube!

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

Perfectionists! 5 Quick Therapeutic Tips to QUIET your Inner B! (Critic)

There is just SO much we are all dealing with lately, and for perfectionists it can be too much. This can create angst, worry and anxiety- leading to our inner critics getting LOUDER.

So, perfectionists, how do you silence your inner critic? Learn 5 Quick Therapeutic Tips to QUIET Your Inner B with Brooke Jean of Brooke Jean Counseling and Coaching.

Don’t forget to Subscribe on YouTube!

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

Pause, Become Aware, Deep Sea Dive! Exploring Anxiety.

How do you do the deep-sea-diving to understand and gain awareness about your anxiety and triggering events? Where do you even start?

Brooke shares several signs as to how your anxiety might be manifesting, what is happening when you are feeling triggered, and what you can do with this information for your own healing and growth. Follow along and learn more from Brooke Jean with Brooke Jean Counseling and Coaching.

Don’t forget to Subscribe on YouTube!

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

A Deeper Look at Anxiety and Brainspotting

Have you been feeling triggered lately? We are currently living in a pressure cooker for anxiety and it can be hard to process all.the.things. What is emerging for you and revealing itself? Now is the time to heal. Learn more and explore anxiety and the healing brainspotting modality with Brooke Jean of Brooke Jean Counseling and Coaching.

Don’t forget to Subscribe on YouTube!

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

How to Heal by Feeling Your Feelings

With everything going on in the world lately, I have been calling on myself and others to search for the larger assignment inside ourselves. Meaning, what has continuously come up during these magic times where things feel like they are out of control. What we seem to collectively be finding, and feeling, are unresolved hurts emerging, letting us know we are ready to do some healing.

What feels like it might be falling apart or out of control could really be falling into place to help us be more in alignment than ever and to make some healthy shifts for ourselves and therefore the collective.

As a therapist, I often get asked:

“Well, how in the heck do I heal?”

“What does processing actually look like?”

“How do I process unresolved feelings and experiences?”

Before sharing some tangible tips on how to heal by feeling your feelings I first want to remind us of a few important things.

First, feelings are actually sensations that are held in the body and they are teachers, pointing us to something that would like our attention. They are guides to get us to notice and acknowledge something we are holding onto. Feelings can be our greatest teachers if we learn to tune into them.

Second, it’s so important that we acknowledge and move our feelings through us- otherwise they become stagnate energy in our systems that can cause other problems. It is my belief that this stagnant energy becomes vulnerable spots in the body that can host other physical ailments. When we ignore our feelings, which we often do if they are unpleasant, they become somewhat like a child in the back seat of a car on a road trip who has to go to the bathroom. They tend to start out telling us “I have to go to the bathroom.” When ignored they will tell us louder and louder until they are screaming to get our attention. Feelings are the same way. They will get louder and louder until we acknowledge them. And, they show up in sneaky and unconscious ways such as overeating, drinking too much, spending too much, picking fights, irritability, lack of motivation, etc.

We are feeling beings and when we continuously feel our feelings we become more self-aware and clear our vessels (brains, bodies, being) to be able to carry more- therefore allowing us to move through our existence more peacefully.

So, here goes… here are some ways to consciously process and feel your feelings to guide your healing:

• Designate uninterrupted time and space to sit in stillness, slow down your breath, and turn your attention inward. You can use a guided meditation to help you or you can do it on your own. Starting with the crown of your head and working all the way down to your toes, begin to scan the body to notice any sensations.

• Once you notice sensations in the body, do your best not to judge, label, or shame them. Make space for them. Meet them with curiosity. Just notice them. Ask it or them what is it they would like to bring your attention to and pay attention to the first thing that comes through for you. It may come through in the form of a thought, an image, a whisper. Whatever it is, trust it and meet it with kindness and genuine interest.

• Imagine you are making space for it in your physical body. Then imagine a bright white light above beaming warm and nurturing light on you and through you, all the way to the spot where you are holding these feelings in the body. Imagine the warm light surrounding the area and creating almost an aura around it. The light is soothing and healing.

• Next ask it what do you need? Again, whatever comes up, trust it.

• Emotions need to be in motion so, to complete the process, engage in an intentional way to move them through you. You can:

  • Talk about it with someone you trust

  • Journal about it

  • Write a letter and never send it and/or burn it

  • Spend time in nature

  • Stretch – do yoga

  • Walk/run

  • Slam medicine balls or punch a punching bag (great for anger)

  • Inner child work

  • Create – art

  • Earthing

• Lastly, if you can, befriend your feelings. Treat them like an important piece of the puzzle that is you and your life. They will guide you where you need to go and will tell you what you need to know about yourself. Feelings are there for good reason.

To feel is to heal.

The more you feel, the easier and more natural it will become. One of the myths I often encounter about feelings is fear that acknowledging them will result in getting stuck in them. Or, that they will become too powerful and overwhelming. I promise you, you have everything you need inside of you right now to work through big feelings. Even the most intense feelings only last about 90 seconds. It’s the stories we tell ourselves surrounding those feelings that keep us stuck.

If you feel the feelings, without story or judgement, breathe/move through it and it will pass.

And the more you work through them, the less likely they are to burst out unannounced.

So, here’s to consciously feeling, my friends.

May this serve in such meaningful ways.

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

Storms Help Trees Strengthen Their Roots

It is a collective experience.

An awakening.

Im just gonna say it, an opportunity.

Whether you are raising your arm in the air whilst yelling “Heck yes, it is!!” or begrudgingly cursing my name under your breathe with yet again another wonky personal development suggestion, either is an indicator that the call is happening inside of you as well.

In other words, whether you resist the notion that we are collectively in an awakening or are already on board, you are being nudged to do the work.

What is the work you ask?

Well, that depends my friends.

I am finding that the work entails deeper healing, gaining increased awareness, letting go of what is no longer serving you in a healthy way, gaining clarity on who you are authentically, or rising to the call of your soul’s calling.

It is all about awakening our consciousness collectively.

So I ask, what can you do with this pause? What can you release to make space for whats rising in you? How can you plant and strengthen your roots to build a solid foundation for your future self to exist on, wholeheartedly?

Here are some questions to ask yourself to discover just that.

Set aside some uninterrupted quiet time and space to sit with these questions, journal what comes up, meditate or pray on it, and allow the information and feelings to find their way to you and through you.

1. What has felt energy draining lately?

2. What makes you feel yucky when you do it? (Hint: Boundary Violation!)

3. What do you say YES to that later you regret (Hello resentment, my old friend!)

4. What causes you the most guilt?

5. Who would you like to cut cords with – forgive, stop thinking about, worrying about, being tied to energetically?

6. What overwhelmed you? Think people, commitments, items/ clutter, unhelpful ways of being/ doing

7. Ask your intuition in meditation, through journaling, and in stillness what you need to let go of in order to make space for whats rising in you?

Whatever came forward when asking yourself these questions is ready and willing to be acknowledged, released, and let go. Now for the fun part, what are you making space for?

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

Wellness During COVID-19

Learn how your brain and body are responding to the crisis, and how to cope to experience wellness during COVID-19

Co-Written by Brooke Jean, MA, LPCC and Kristy Eldredge, EdD, LPC, NCC, ACS

Given this time of uncertainty and change, it is common for us to respond with anxiety and fear, often getting stuck in a perpetual cycle of worry, tension, and rumination.

While we all take the practical physical health recommendations of hand washing, sanitizing, and social distancing to manage the spread of the illness, we also need to pay attention to our mental health during this time. Here are some ideas for things you can practice, even within the comfort of your own home. Remember the mind, body, and soul are connected; so attending to the wellness of each component can have an exponential effect on our overall state.

The Body

We cannot effectively manage stress and worry without getting our body involved. Our nervous system is designed to detect and respond to perceived threat – this is its primary job and it has had a LONG time (think evolution) to get this right. Understanding what our nervous system is designed to do and why it does this will allow you to interpret your physiological reactions without pathologizing them. The ability to notice and interpret our nervous system’s responses can ultimately give you the power to regulate the reactions that arise, coming back to a state of safety in your body.

Understanding the Basics of the Nervous System: here, knowledge is a huge part of the battle. Learn to translate your nervous system’s dialogue with you by watching this easy to understand (and entertaining) video:

The Polyvagal Theory: The New Science of Safety and Trauma by Seth Porges

Utilizing the Breath: sometimes we think breathing is simple. We do it all day long, right? However, when we truly breathing correctly, utilizing all areas of our lungs, reaching the air down into the diaphragm, moving the belly in and out the impact is tremendous. Spending even five minutes focusing on inhaling through the nose, exhaling through the mouth (make it audible!) can make a world of difference for your body, mind and soul. For an extra bit of fun, focus on breathing in something you need or want (peace, calm) and exhaling something you don’t need to hold onto (fear, anxiety, anger).

Grounding the body: times of stress pull our awareness into our minds and out of our bodies, which means out of the present moment. When you notice this happening, bring your attention back to the body and the present moment by engaging all of your five senses. Using the physical space around you, name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can feel, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell or taste, and finally 1 thing you appreciate about yourself in this moment. For an extra dose of grounding, wiggle your toes and heals into the floor, feeling the solidness, softness, texture, or temperature of the ground as it connects with your feat.

Exercise and yoga: although many people are choosing not to go to gyms or classes right now, it is important to continue moving our bodies, getting our heart rates up and engaging our muscles. Try out these ideas for at-home movement:

• Yoga with Adriene on YouTube.com

• Walk / run the stairs in or around your place

• Walk /run around the block or if you’re lucky enough to have a park nearby

Active Spring Cleaning: as many of us seem to be motivated to disinfect everything right now, why not make it a productive cleansing of our physical space, to model a cleanse of our emotional space, as well! Our external environment reflects and impacts our internal environment and vice versa. Plus, it’s a great way to keep your body active while inside.

Nourish your Body: whether we are healthy or under the weather, giving our body the nutrients, water, medication, and rest that it needs are frequently overlooked acts of self-love. Listen to what your body needs and respond to it. Ways we might do this include:

• Cooking healthy meals

• Drinking lots of water

• Managing the intake of substances like alcohol, marijuana, sugar, caffeine

Music and Dancing: put on the tunes and move your body! Be silly, graceful, energetic…whatever you’re feeling inside, use the music and dance to express it externally. Find a song that tells your story; use your body to convey that story. If you have someone to dance with dance to make each other laugh, smile or simply connect with (pets are great for this, too).

The Mind

Given that our minds are always active and it is part of our instinctual survival system to focus on the negative, we need to be actively practicing the redirection of our thoughts away from a non-stop spiral of worry. Give some of these strategies a try!

Audio podcasts: giving your mind a conversation or story to follow audibly can help channel the mind’s energy away from its own spiral and into a more productive direction, enjoying entertainment and learning at the same time! Here are some great ones to try:

• The Adult Chair

• 10% Happier

• Tara Brach

• Oprah’s Master Class or Super Soul Conversations

• Where Do We Begin?

• Arm Chair Experts

Meditation: practicing the art of present moment observation of our thoughts, without judgment, is an incredible exercise towards a healthier relationship with our thoughts. Meditation allows us to not be ruled by our thoughts but to instead notice them with perspective and self-awareness. Try these apps for a variety of guided meditations:

• Calm

• Headspace

• Insight Timer

• 10% Happier

• The Mindfulness App

Audio books and traditional books: Reading is an incredible way to redirect the mind when it begins to obsess and spiral. Try both the audio and written delivery to see how each can help in different ways. If you’re anything like me, you have at least a couple of books you’ve never finished on your bookshelves. Or for new options, check out these resources:

• Free Local library apps:

  • Libby, Overdrive, Kindle (yes, they access libraries), Hoopla

• Audible

• Look for inspirational books, especially!

Artwork and Creativity: channeling your thoughts, fears, and worry into works of creativity can not only help you release the energy from your mind and body but can also provide a sense of creation and accomplishment. Using creative modalities to externalize the distress also provides a fun activity to do with family, kids, and partners. Try some of these activities:

• Coloring books for all ages

• Journaling

• Use old magazines lying around the house to create a vision board for what you want your life to look like going forward

• Cooking – challenge yourself to your own version of “Chopped” a la the Food Network

• Make homemade play dough using flour, salt, boiling water, and either Kool-Aid or food coloring. Add essential oils for an additional aromatherapy element (great for sensory regulation, too)!

Compassion for all parts of yourself: we all have different sides of our selves. From the part of us that manages responsibility and works hard at our jobs, to the part that can let loose with the best of them, it is common for the different aspects of ourselves to have differing responses during times of fear and stress, as well. Especially during anxiety-producing times, check in on the young / child part in you, who likely feels afraid and not sure if they are going to be okay. Compassionate inner dialogue, just like a loving parent to a child, can reassure this part of ourselves that may be genuinely scared right now.

Spiritual or religious practice: if you identify with a spiritual belief system, engaging in this practice, especially during difficult times, can help you stay connected to something larger than the immediate events surrounding us, with a sense of love and connection. Here are some possible ways to practice connecting with your higher power, God, the universe or however you find connection with something larger than you.

• Prayer

• Meditation

• Gratitude

• Spiritual traditions and routines like reading sacred texts (Bible, Torah, Quran, etc.).

• Acts of forgiveness

• Acts of service and kindness

• Listening to meaningful music

• Giving your negative thoughts to your higher power

• Focusing on the power of nature

The Soul

Connecting with others: even if we are serious introverts, the fact is we are social beings. It is in our evolutionary history and in our cells. Thus, when we don’t have regular engagement in some way, we can feel dysregulated, lonely, and just generally unhealthy. Here are some ways to engage with others even if they aren’t in your immediate environment.

• Video phone calls

• Marco Polo app allows for sending videos back and forth

• Take pictures of what you’re doing and send to friends for picture conversations

• Look through existing photo albums

• Good old fashioned phone conversations

• Play games with others online

• Watch live streaming events such as the Seattle Symphony Orchestra

• Remind yourself that there are people in the world who truly care about you even if you aren’t currently able to connect. As your therapist, I am one of these people who cares about you!

I hope that some of these ideas will spark your interest and invite you to be active in your efforts towards wellness over anxiety during this difficult time. Focus on what you do know, the choices you do have (even if they’re not your favorites) and the ways that we can still connect with others. You certainly have your own individual go-to strategies so make sure you’re listening to yourself and nurture your own needs.

One last note, I am currently offering a BRAND NEW online series called Tame Your Anxiety: Tending To Your Nervous System. In under an hour learn how to calm your anxiety by tending to your nervous system and understanding how perceived threats affect your brain and body. Walk away with knowledge, insight, and 5 life-changing therapeutic tools.

For further support, book a call with me today

Contact co-author Kristy Eldredge, EdD, LPC, NCC, ACS:

Kristyeldredge1@gmail.com/ 720-284-2031 (p)

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

Putting the Mindfulness into March

Friends, March 2020 came in LIKE A FREAKING HURRICANE. The whole world feels turned upside down and I know many of us are deep in our feelings about the impact of COVID 19 and all of the subsequent closures. It’s scary and it can be a lot.

In my recent VLOG, I shared ways to use Mindfulness as a tool during times such as this, times of extreme uncertainty. Recognizing and creating space for the fear and anxiety at the moment is necessary, but so is also making a point to look for the good in every single day.

Here are some simple tips for helping all of us find the good in each day. These are tips to help us all stay well in our mind and body. I hope you all enjoy slowing down, pausing, and considering these tips for Mindfulness.

1. Pause and take 3 deep belly breaths.

2. Notice the clouds moving in the sky.

3. Pause and notice 5 things you see, smell, hear, taste and feel.

4. Take a walk with a smile on your face.

5. Take mini-pauses and breathe when transitioning from one thing to the next.

6. Set a timer on your phone to remind yourself to check in on your thoughts, feelings and body sensations.

7. Meditate – I love the Calm app!

8. When eating or drinking something, pause and notice the smell, texture, and taste. Slow the process down.

9. Remind yourself, you are enough. Say to yourself, I am enough.

10. When you find yourself worrying about the future, just notice you are doing it and gently bring your awareness back to the present moment by focusing on your breath.

11. Listen to your favorite music, dance and notice how that feels in your body.

12. Write out a daily mantra or intention and check in on it throughout the day.

Mindfulness is the state of being completely present, meeting your thoughts, feelings and body sensations with curiosity and acceptance- and without judgment. It is a state of being and a healthy way to regulate, connect, heal, and grow. I wish you all love, acceptance, and patience with yourself. May you have a #MindfulMarch.

Whatever came forward when asking yourself these questions is ready and willing to be acknowledged, released, and let go. Now for the fun part, what are you making space for?

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

How to Heal From A Break-Up

Heal. Become. Thrive.

Breaking up is hard to do. Yep, indeed. Actually, quite understated. Breaking up can shake us to our core! So how do we consciously work through a love transition?

In short order: Heal. Become. Thrive

That is the model.

Take your time with this process as it is not linear and can feel rather messy. I like to use the image of an ocean, where sometimes the water feels calm and your feet are securely buried in the soft sand and with the sun, the salt, and the breeze you hold a moment of space where you feel like everything will be ok. But then the next day, TSUNAMI!!!! The waves are so tall and powerful that you fear you’ll never come up for air and if you do, you’ll never be the same.

Wherever you are at with your ocean today is safe and okay my friends.

Whether the breakup was your choice or not, there is a great deal of grief that comes with the ending of a relationship. Even if you fantasized about getting out of it for years, once you are in the process, all sorts of feelings could begin to emerge and start to flow through you.

If your boat feels completely rocked and unstable, it is normal. Keep feeling and breathing your way through it.

If you’re feeling scared and uncertain about the future, also normal, keep feeling and breathing your way through it.

Express yourself, share your feelings with someone safe or in your journal.

Openly address all that you will miss about this person and the relationship.

Remember the good times and the bad.

Take 10 minutes a day to sit alone and consciously grieve. To do this, find a space where you will not be interrupted and check in on how you are REALLY feeling that day. Let the feelings bubble up and meet them with gentle kindness. You can even acknowledge them, “There’s the sadness, the loneliness, the fear, the worry coming up.” Breathe deeply.

Take care of your physical and mental health – get outside, move your body, eat well, laugh sometimes, listen to music, talk, stretch, meditate, and sleep.

Surround yourself with love, support and connection. Whether that be a daily check-in on the phone with your bestie, asking for special accommodations at work while you move through this transition, or joining a support group.

Stay connected.

Empower yourself with knowledge about the process and other people’s experiences but be careful not to obsess and to leverage your own inner wisdom and the ultimate guidance for your path.

Visualize what life will look and feel like on the other end of this journey. Imagine yourself content and at peace, being your most authentic self, walking in the world sure of who you are and what you want out of this life.

Get clear on your values, goals, and what you want. What is one small thing you can do that moves you toward that each and every day? Honor yourself, your feelings and who you are becoming now that you have split wide open to rebuilding in a healthy and authentic way.

Transition is a time for TRANSFORMATION.

This transition is changing you, and the exciting thing is, you get to decide who you are becoming.

Often, the storm shakes us up to get us on the right path.

Chaos precedes change.

So, hold on for the ride, my dear. You have survived life up until this point, you will survive this as well.

Take the time to heal and then to become, intentionally. (Visit here to read another BJCC blog about being in Love Limbo.)

And when you honor that, you are sure to thrive again.

You are and always will be deserving of love.

If you are feeling vulnerable and in need of some support and help, we are glad you are here. Contact Brooke now and start your path to healing today. Additionally, consider further reading with BJCC’s blog about co-parenting post separation.

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

Questions To Help Reflect and Rise Edit

Use the New Year to reflect on what is working, getting to the root of what is not, and setting intentions for the year ahead.

It is inevitable. The end of the year rolls around and I get asked numerous times how I feel about resolutions. The honest answer is my usual perspective on most topics, I can see the benefits and the downfalls; I can see both sides.

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE the energy surrounding the New Year! It’s all sparkly and magical and whatnot. I love the opportunity to reflect on how I spent my time, how I felt, the impact I had, and the lessons I learned from the past 12 months. I love level setting where I am at in the larger destination of my life and my goals, which are around feeling good and being the best version of me I can be.

Reflect and Rise to make this coming year a magical one.

As a counselor and coach, I appreciate goals and believe there is so much power in clarifying what you want and how you want to feel to help guide you to where you want to be. If we don’t spend time considering what we want, saying it aloud and taking conscious daily action to get there, we might not experience the movement we desire.

So, if we are going to set intentions for the New Year my approach is to dig deep to REFLECT and RISE, which can be done answering the following questions:

What are you most proud of from 2019?

How did you grow and stretch yourself?

Where was the struggle and what did you learn? What is left in the growth journey?

When looking at where you want to be and how you want to feel – what strengths can you leverage to get there? This is all about the rise and stepping into your gems and power!

What will hold you back? Look beyond the obvious for this one. For example, if you desire to be healthy but what is getting in your way of taking the very best care of yourself is an unconscious belief that you are not worthy, well let’s do some healing and re-wiring around that belief, because it might continue to block you, even in your best efforts. Or, if your goal is to find love yet you find yourself in the pattern of sabotaging dates before they even happen, let us get to the root of the sabotage by asking what you are afraid of, how are you showing up and are you acting in alignment with what you really want? You see, people want the simple formula for success and well-being but, the truth is, we need to look under the hood for what is really influencing our thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and behaviors.

What will you need to release and shed to get where you want to go? So you can rise more easily and naturally.

What is ONE THING you can commit to daily that is in alignment with where you want to be? The RISE must include action and seeing opportunities that surround you.

Who and what support do you need?

How do you want to feel?

What will it be like when you get there? Sit in a little visualization of this. Imagine yourself where you want to be, notice how you look and feel, where you are, who you are with and just indulge in the experience. Use this technique as a motivator when you need a boost to stay the course!

In my experience, the key to making resolutions and intentions useful, meaningful, and successful, is to resolve the underlying issues that are preventing you from living and feeling your best while consciously acknowledging all that you already are and the strengths you already carry within to help you get there. It is not as simple as “I am going to lose weight” or “Get that promotion” or “Set healthier boundaries.”

It is reflecting on what is causing you to engage in unhealthy patterns – hint: we sometimes engage in these behaviors to avoid actually FEELING.

So, in the New Year, let us commit to getting to the root of things, of being worthy of healing and transformation, and of stepping into our power to feel our best and therefore do our best.

If you are interested in continuing the conversation about how YOU can Reflect and Rise in your life, view my recent Vlog about this topic or feel free to reach out directly to me here. I look forward to hearing from you!

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

Self-Care Tips for the Holidays and Beyond Edit

Sisters, we are in the throes of the holidays! Thanksgiving is already fading into memory and Christmas looms large over our days. Not to mention, we are doing ALL.THE.THINGS! With all of the parties, social gatherings, holiday festivities, and traveling to see family, the holidays can be a time when a gal gets overwhelmed and run-down.

BUT! We don’t want that to happen to you. We’ve shared some helpful ideas for keeping your spirits up and your mind and body content – so you can keep kicking booty well past the New Year.

1. Ask for help. Speak up, Mama! You can’t do it all alone and no one expects you to.

2. Say no to things that don’t really matter. Set this boundary for yourself and (most importantly) respect it.

3. Take a moment to pause, reflect, and be still. Whether you find this peace over a cup of coffee in the morning or at night after the kids are in bed, take that moment and sit in your thoughts and feelings.

4. Observe the holiday wonder around you. Kids constantly remind us of what is really important- laughter and joy, adventure and excitement, and believing in things bigger than ourselves. Let children be your guide to what matters this holiday season.

5. Indulge mindfully. It can be easy to get caught up in the indulges of the season so, if you can, slow down and eat and drink intuitively. Enjoy the smell, taste, and texture of each and every bite or sip. Allow yourself to get swept away in the deliciousness, and stop before full, or before any shame spiraling events may occur.

6. Spend consciously. Opt for gifts that prioritize mindfulness over consumerism. Choose to volunteer at a non-profit for an outing instead of meeting at a restaurant. There are lots of ways to be frivolous during the holiday season; be frivolous with love, be frivolous with compliments for others, do not be frivolous with your money.

7. Move your body every day. When it is holiday season, the sun sets early and it can be freezing cold outside. But! If anything, these are more reasons why getting exercise in every day can be crucial. Go for a walk, hit up a yoga class, or meet your friend at the gym- we guarantee you won’t regret it.

8. Drink lots of water. Give your body the loving it needs – good old fashioned H20.

9. Advocate for yourself with your family and friends. When it comes to loved ones, it can be hard to say no or feel like we are letting someone down by not doing what they want of us. However, these wishes may come at the expense of your own well-being. No matter who it is, set and stand up for your own boundaries so that you can be your best on your own terms.

10. Feel the feels, don’t brush them under the rug. The holidays bring out stress, family dynamics, past experiences, and trauma. When these instances arise, take a moment to recognize how you are feeling and why you are feeling this way. Sit in it for the moment, and let this awareness serve you instead of holding you back.

Just as the old saying goes, you cannot serve others from a dry well. Self-care is vital for keeping yourself happy and healthy, and for keeping yourself balanced with all of the other people (both big and small!) who are counting on you. Keep rocking it out, beautiful friend.

If you are feeling like you could use a touch more support than these helpful tips, we invite you to see our Vlog about Self-Care for Success, or contact Brooke Jean Counseling and Coaching. We look forward to hearing how you practice self-care!

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

Let’s Talk Anxiety…

Friends, this month we want to talk about a little gremlin we all know called Anxiety. Join us as we break down what it is, what causes it, and how you can help yourself!

“Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S., affecting 40 million adults in the United States age 18 and older, or 18.1% of the population every year. Anxiety disorders are highly treatable, yet only 36.9% of those suffering receive treatment.”*

What is anxiety?

Anxiety can show up differently for different people and typically can be felt in the body and experienced as worrisome thoughts. These symptoms include but are not limited to:

• Tightness in the chest

• Racing heart

• Rumbling happening in your body

• Headaches, body aches, and nausea

• Feeling heavy, stuck, or frozen

• Worst case scenario thinking

• Worry about what will happen later today, tomorrow, a month from now, anytime in the future

• Feeling like something is wrong, like you’re not good enough, or something bad is going to happen

• Over planning and strategizing for things that have not yet happened

• Checking on things compulsively

What causes anxiety?

Anxiety can stem from several sources. Yet, often these sources can be categorized as biological or genetic, environmental, and/or experiential.

Biological – Basically means you were born with and inherited a likelihood to have anxiety. For example, if anxiety runs in your family, you could be hard wired and pre-dispositioned to experience anxiety as well.

Environmental – This means something in your environment is causing and triggering anxiety. Your environment would include things like your living conditions, family of origin, your culture and conditioning, how your day to day life interacts with you.

A huge environmental cause of anxiety is trauma. When our brains and bodies live through trauma, the memory gets stuck in the mid-brain and the energy gets stuck in the body, and both can cause anxiety. When these things happen, we tend to feel unsafe, therefore needing to constantly scan our environment for safety, which can feel like anxiety.

When we don’t know what to expect from our environment, we develop a keen ability to sense other people’s moods and energies which can manifest as anxiety. Growing up in an environment that was not safe, where one or both parents were abusive or had substance abuse problems, being bullied, or experiencing humiliation are all examples of environmental causes of anxiety. Also included in that list: being frightened, getting into car accidents, or being confronted or surprised in a scary way.

Click here for a brief video about Trauma and the Brain.

Experiential – This can stem from something being incongruent inside of you. If you are not living in alignment with who you really are and with your values, it could be causing anxiety. Think mid-life crises, which I call “awakenings.” Being in transition causes so much anxiety because you are figuring out how to get through it while discovering who you are becoming. This unknowing and confusion lends itself to questioning, predicting scary outcomes, and fear.

Looking at the source of your anxiety can inform what is needed to treat the anxiety, while also igniting a compassionate and loving understanding of who you are and why you are feeling the anxiety. And also, knowing the root isn’t always ESSENTIAL to healing and learning how to cope with your anxiety.

Tips for helping you navigate anxiety:

Everything begins and ends with awareness, being present, and knowing the one thing you can always control are your inhales and exhales (which have unlimited power and resources in them!)

Slow down and begin to notice your anxiety and how it is showing up for you. Name it and call it out for what it is… just the anxiety showing up. You are not an anxious person- you are experiencing anxiety. Treat this experience as if it were a visitor coming and going. Doing this puts distance between the anxiety and your response to it, externalization is so powerful.

Take 10 belly breaths throughout your day. (What are belly breaths? Click here to learn more!)

Set a time on your phone to check in on your anxiety 2 times a day, and just notice where it is at and ask yourself what you need in that moment.

Go on a walk or MOVE YOUR BODY! Emotions need to be IN MOTION so moving them through your body is so helpful.

Take a bath or do something calming and nurturing for your body.

Get a weighted blanket.

Do something with your hands like paint or crochet.

Pay attention to what the anxiety might be drawing your attention to. For example, perhaps the anxiety is warning you to get out of an unhealthy relationship, or to release something that is no longer serving you, or to switch careers.

Find the right therapist for you. They will be your touchstone for a comprehensive treatment plan. Healing and reprocessing trauma you have experienced is going to be key. We encourage Brainspotting for trauma work, which you can learn more about here.

This is only scratching the surface on a really big topic that impacts so many of us. If you feel like you would benefit from additional support, reach out to Brooke Jean and let’s help you manage it, rather than letting it manage you.

In the month of November, Brooke will be sharing more anxiety tips LIVE on her Brooke Jean Counseling and Coaching Facebook – be sure to tune in!

*Resource: ADAA – Anxiety and Depression Association of America

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

How to Kick Mom Guilt to the Curb – A Tip!

If you are in the same Mom Guilt basket as the rest of us, it is okay, mama! Noticing the cycle of mom guilt, and what you keep “should-ing” yourself about, is part of the process in breaking free from this voice. In order to kick this Mom Guilt to the curb, we need to put in the work to uncover the unconscious beliefs we tell ourselves about what it means to be a “good mom.”

Most moms are all too well aware of it… the voice. You know the voice, that nagging one in the back of your head. It’s the voice that says you should have done more for your kids… you should have shown up to that game when you had a conflicting client meeting, or you should have made the birthday treats from scratch instead of store bought. We like to call that voice Mom Guilt.

Many of these beliefs that we hold as ultimate mom truths stem from antiquated standards. From the time we are young women we are observing and absorbing what it means to be a good enough mom, whether from our own mothers and grandmothers or from main-stream media. These influences tend to set the “rules” we should live by, or the standards we should hold ourselves to. This is SILLY. Guess what ladies, having a home cooked meal on the table every night, and being on the PTA, and managing a career, and getting the kids to practice, and doing household chores, and having a side hustle, it just doesn’t all work anymore.

We are all stretched way too thin and in way too many different directions to hold these standards as truths. The image of the modern mom has to adapt and update to the current world we are in, and this means being kinder and gentler to ourselves about not having homemade dinners on the table or having to miss that game. When you feel yourself being pulled into the Mom Guilt, and before you go beating yourself up, follow these steps in fighting the cycle:

• Stop and identify the belief before it gets going.

• Take time to examine the belief.

  • Is it true?

  • Is it helpful?

  • Is it relevant?

• Proceed in your truest self!

So mama, the next time you are feeling like crap and that oh-so-annoying Mom Guilt voice is getting louder in your head, stop yourself and ask these questions. Put that Mom Guilt in its place… on the curb with all the other junk that no longer serves you.

If you would like to explore more action items for handling Mom Guilt we invite you to learn about our Kick Mom Guilt To The Curb online course. Or, contact Brooke with Brooke Jean Counseling and Coaching.

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

Effective ways you can improve your Self-Esteem doing inner child work.

Effective ways you can improve your Self-Esteem doing inner child work.

Are you struggling with knowing your worth, and are feeling ready to improve your self-esteem?

You are amongst many, my friend.

How is it that we can see the good in others but struggle to honor the same in ourselves? Well…because we lost sight of who we were before the world told us who we are supposed to be.

Growing up, we absorbed all sort of messages about who and what we were supposed to be and those around us only validated or invalidated those theories. For example, “Thats a good girl!” Does that resonate with you? Just by hearing that message, you may have internalized that being polite, respectful and without an opinion meant being a “good girl.” So, you may have learned to behave that way which still shows up today in your personal or professional world.

Perhaps you got praise when you scored the winning goal in your sport or when you brought home straight A’s, which led you to learn that perfect performance equals worth and praise. Insert the beginning of your perfectionistic tendencies…

What you were told from your parents and any other influential people growing up became part of your internal dialogue. If you heard you are bad, your inner critic might be telling you that you are bad. The problem is, just because we have those thoughts, feelings and beliefs does not mean they are true and/ or helpful.

The world’s expectations of us are relentless and never-ending. It’s an impossible task keeping up, and as a result, our positive and healthy feelings regarding ourselves begin deteriorating.

Low self-esteem is usually a result of not knowing yourself, knowing your worth, living authentically and owning both your strengths and struggles. To have healthy self- esteem, you can start by discovering who you really are and working toward full acceptance, beginning with your inner child.

So, if you’re ready to improve your self-esteem, set some time aside to reflect, look at old pictures and videos and journal.

Ask yourself who you were when you were little.

What interests, natural strengths and passions did you hold?

What were your deepest values, and how was your identity formulated?

What were you naturally good at and was there a period of time when you deviated from that path or focus?

More times that not, we heard a disapproving message from an influential adult who told us our work wasn’t good enough, so we ditched it and never looked back. Maybe you haven’t written a poem since your English teacher humiliated you in front of your peers. Or haven’t played your instrument or that sport or tried something new because you have a belief that it’ll never be good enough.

Throughout this reflection, you are basically giving a voice to your inner child, remembering what mattered most to him/ her so you can reconnect to that person and bring him/ her back, ultimately strengthening your current sense of self. Because you are awesome, just the way you organically are.

If your inner child had something to say, or needs that weren’t meant, it can very powerful in therapy to do some deeper work with him/ her to heal parts of your past and re-develop in a more congruent and healthy way.

From a place of knowing your gifts AND being okay with your imperfections, you can begin to improve your self-esteem and begin living more authentically, which often times, promotes stepping into your light and power and living well.

That is my hope for you and all of us. I am right there with you on this journey of becoming.

And if you would like to learn more about this work or need support, don’t be afraid to reach out here!

And if you would like to learn more about this work or need support, don’t be afraid to reach out!

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

Discover your Purpose and Passion to live a whole-hearted and healthy life.

Discover your purpose and passion to live a whole-hearted and healthy life.

Why is purpose and passion so important to your overall wellness?

Because when we live authentically, according to our values, and for our purpose, work doesn’t feel like work.

We wake up inspired for the day and for the impact, whether large or small, we are making on the world around us.

Our work takes up a significant portion of our time, energy, and life and therefore if we do not enjoy what we are doing, it’s a long run to retirement.

Discovering your purpose and living with passion enables you to enjoy the journey, the here and now, no longer waiting for retirement.

Some questions to ask yourself and reflect on in a quiet space to connect you with your calling are:

What wrongs are you wanting to make right?

What is your favorite thing to do?

What activity makes you feel in connection with yourself and others?

What is your struggle and your story and what would others learn from it?

What brings you joy and fulfillment?

If you could wake up tomorrow and time, money, education, all of it wasn’t a factor, what would you be doing?

These are just a few questions I explore with my clients who are ready and willing to start fulfilling their purpose.

Once you have decided what you are passionate about and what your purpose might be, its time to develop plans and begin taking action to help you get there.

Start with a vision and work your goals backwards to where you are today!

A career change, even when chasing your dreams, can be terrifying.

You are in transition, meaning you do not know what will happen and how it will all work out. This experience can create feelings such as fear, anxiety, worry, second-guessing and so much more.

Enlisting in a counselor or coach as a guide through your process can be immeasurably helpful for the discovery, planning, doing and processing parts of all of this.

Learn more about how I help clients live their best lives here!

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

Being In Transition: Part III – Adjusting to Your New Normal

Being in transition is a lot like being on a spiritual journey. The experience is one where you’re confused, in a state of seeking, and not as connected as you would like to be. Just entering the process, you are aware there is a shift taking place in you. You suspect in some ways you are different, but not yet sure exactly how and in what ways. You may even have difficulty expressing this journey you are on to those you love.

You might be a new Mom and your entire role and identity just changed dramatically, making your entire life’s focus around one thing: keeping the tiny human alive. But you might be wondering where the other parts of yourself have gone? Or you might be newly divorced and have no clue how to socialize and court someone you are attracted to. And yet you know deep down you haven’t completely lost your sexy.

In my last two blogs, I have encouraged folks who are in a love, life or career transition to leverage a three step process to guide them through. I have suggested to take time to consciously grieve what and who you were before the transition took place.

Then I offered a potential shift in your mindset that can be helpful while being in transition. To begin to see this often scary and confusing time as an opportunity. An opportunity to become and change coarse. To determine who you will be going forward and how to begin to design your new life. Read the previous blogs here > https://brookejeanllc.com/news/

And once you have arrived to the part of the process where you are crafting the new normal, its time to try this evolved self and life on, and my hope is that you enter this part of the journey with a new sense of clarity and confidence.

But don’t get me wrong, this part takes COURAGE.

You may have fears surfacing that are showing up as thoughts questioning whether or not this new way of being you will be accepted and even liked by others.

This is the adjustment period.

And like most things, it starts and ends with connection.

You don’t have to navigate these new waters alone. Call on your single friends to take you out for a night out. Join your local new Mommy’s support group. Make friends with your neighbor. Reach out to your mentor, old colleagues, your coach or counselor.

Surround yourself with cheerleaders and supporters. This is crucial. Not everyone will understand your journey, and thats OK. You have to live for you!

Get uber intentional with your time. Ensure your priorities are reflected on your calendar and treated with as much respect as a doctor’s appointment. Carve out time for your health, for connection and FUN.

Know that change is hard for all of us.

But we must be adaptable. As a new Mom, a divorcee, an empty nester, back to work career professional, whatever, your days will absolutely look and feel different. Try not to run from this.

Acknowledge it. Honor your feelings around it. And visualize yourself living your best life. Remember why its important to get to that end goal and what its all about.

I know its really tough right now, adapting to your new norm. You might be questioning whether or not you made the “right choices.” Perhaps you are crying while breastfeeding in the middle of the night, in pain and feeling alone. Perhaps you feel empty inside coming home to an empty apartment. Perhaps you are staying late in the office to acclimate and get your bearings on, feeling lonely and wondering what its all worth.

But this is only temporary. It won’t always feel this way. Remember your WHY. You wanted that family, out of that shitty marriage, or the lifestyle that new position at work creates for you.

In order to design the life we want, we have to accept that if we want different, we must be different. We must consciously choose what seems difficult, challenging, maybe even impossible. We have to grieve, become, and adjust.

BUT…on the other side of all of this is a more true and authentic version of you and a life that you experience as ultimately fulfilling. On the other side is feeling free, maybe even inspired and energized. You’ll get to experience new people, places and things.

Witnessing folks come out the other side of this spiritual journey and watching them thrive in ways they didn’t know was possible is what its all about. And what’s cool is that each of us may cycle through this evolution many times in our lives, getting us closer and closer to being who we are meant to be and making the impact we are meant to make. What an true honor and privilege this work is!

Wherever you are in your journey, I applaud you for making it this far and want to lovingly remind you to grieve, become and adjust.

If you or someone you know is in a love, life or career transition and would benefit from having a counselor and coach to guide them through.

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

Stress Management: 6 Quick Techniques

6 Quick Stress Management Strategies

In reaching our greatest potential and becoming the very best version of ourselves personally and professionally, we MUST be protective and selective of our energy.

In this context, energy means your overall output as a human being. This includes your thoughts, beliefs, intentions, and behavior.

All too often, I find that a major block to clients performing at their highest and achieving their life’s goals is that they are spending a great deal of energy STRESSING.

They are worrying, scheming, plotting, analyzing and their blood pressure is escalating throughout each and every day. They are feeling overwhelmed and burning the candle at both ends in an effort to make it all better. This becomes a major distraction to our higher, more wise and intentional selves.

From a general health perspective, I think we all know stress can really take its toll.

On a cellular level when we have a negative (stressful) thought, our brain stimulation produces the hormone cortisol, which is basically a toxin in the body. From there we experience a feeling that we label an emotion and we tend to take action from that place.

Let me walk you through an example. If you have the thought “I am not prepared for this meeting,” you will create cortisol, have a yucky feeling in your body which you might translate to anxiety and then take action from that place, perhaps over-preparing and bringing your anxiety into the room when you present. This then hinders your ability to be authentic, to effectively think and speak on your feet, to have channels open to receive what you might need during the presentation, and the energy might be felt by your audience and viewed negatively.

Yes, one thought has that much power and can create your reality.

When you think about how much time in your day, week, month and year you are stressing and how much energy that consumes, think about what else, more productive, you can do with that energy…

So I wanted to share some strategies to combat stress. This only touches on the surface level and I go into much more detail when working with clients individually and in the group setting.

1. Become aware that you are stressed. Pay attention to your thoughts, feelings and body sensations. I encourage clients to put a reminder on their phone three times a day to check in with themselves and rate their stress on a scale of 1 to 10. Just bringing awareness to the stress then allows you to do something different with it.

2. Name it. Just say it out loud. I am stressed. This takes away its power. Its no longer subconsciously messing with you.

3. Identify how the stress is currently impacting you. You can say to yourself something like, “I notice stress has me feeling nervous in my belly, has me speaking rapidly, has me disconnecting from what’s going on in front of me, is taking too much of my energy, whatever it is.”

4. Use a breathing technique. You can start simple. Take a 4 second inhale, one second pause, then 4 second exhale. Do that a couple times and then increase your seconds to a 5 second inhale and exhale with a 2 second pause, followed by a 6 second inhale and exhale with a 3 second pause. Do this until you literally feel yourself calming down, and more present in the moment.

5. Take a break if you need to. Walk outside, get away from your desk, your kids, or whatever has you stressed. Take in some vitamin D and focus on what’s beautiful around you.

6. Come back and take CONSCIOUS action. Remember your why. Whatever your goals and intentions are, I’m fairly certain they don’t include being a stress ball. So take a moment to reconnect to your why. I am working on becoming a calm and approachable leader, a more patient parent, a compassionate partner. And in doing so I must take a conscious next step that is in alignment with that.

Some additional tips that have been known to help with stress are meditation, exercise, stretching, and talking it out with someone you trust.

Know that stress is part of the human experience. I am not suggesting we can completely ELIMINATE stress, but we can train our mind, take back control, and clean up our energetic output to yield different results.

In doing so you might feel better and notice you have the energy for the things that really matter and help you create the life you want.

If stress and negative thinking is getting in your way, give me a call today!

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

8 Summer Tips for Working Moms

Schooooooooool’s out for summer! This may be a song of celebration or sheer panic for you and your family!

As a working parent, you may be relieved when summer approaches because it means less school commutes, less craziness in the morning getting everyone ready, less helping (or at least trying to help) with homework, less school functions, field trips and volunteer opportunities. You may feel like you have 150 less things to do and let freedom ring. Your anxiety may decrease and you may be looking forward to making memories at the pool, or hiking your favorite hike with your littles.

OR…you might be that parent who is totally freaking out, because whether school is in session or not, your life is still crazy, you still have to be out the door at 6:45am, and now you have to figure out where your beloved kiddos are going to go while you work. This creates more finances, you have to plan it out, work around it, and it could be very stressful. You might feel guilty, overwhelmed, and FOMO just to name a few.

AND…you could be experiencing a little bit of both and then some!

No matter where you land on the spectrum, as a working Mom myself, I know its difficult juggling everything, so I wanted to provide 8 tips to consider to make your life easier.

Don’t overbook yourself and your kids! We have a MAJOR problem with this in the U.S. We have a “more is better” mentality, and I think we need a mind shift here. Keeping your kids active, connected, learning and stimulated is very important but it can absolutely can be overdone folks. Kids needs quiet time just like you do. They thrive on routine and running around until 9:30pm every night is just as hard on them as it is on you. They benefit from being bored to remember they have access to their fascinating imagination. They love to play tag in the streets with the neighbors, learn social rules and how to stay safe without us hovering over them every minute. So….if you want them to have an extracurricular, sweet! But they don’t need everyday to feel like Disneyland. Do yourself a favor and sign them up (and therefore you) with half of what you are used to and you can thank me later.

Building upon #1, if possible, take one week day off. I know this is impossible for many of you! But if you are in business for yourself, as painful as it may seem, clear one day during the week and spend it with your kids, handling appointments, getting caught up, and making memories. I have been fortunate enough to do this with my son his entire 14 years of life, both as a corporate leader and as an entrepreneur. Knowing I have that mid-weep moment to breathe completely calms me the rest of the week. Now if this is not realistic, I hear you, I get it. Can you request one week day off a month? Have an extra 4 day weekend somewhere? You need something to look forward to!

ASK FOR HELP! No need to drown on your own. I encourage you to sit down with your partner and plan the summer out, and each Sunday plan out the next week to ensure everything is covered, workload is balanced, and communication is open. Take turns taking the kids to their camps and activities. Take turns doing special things with the kids while the other parent gets that bike ride in. And reach outside your home for help. Perhaps you can set something up with a neighbor, a daycare swap, carpooling, even watching each other’s kids/ having play dates each week to give one another a break. If you are in a bind, ask for help. I know one of the stressors is when we have to work and our kiddos are sick. Is there someone you know, friends, family, neighbors, school connections, etc who can help you?? Get resourceful and reach out You do not need to be on an island alone.

Stay connected. Sometimes summer feels like a non-stop kids camp, but don’t forget your social needs too! I know you are OVER scheduling and planning, but what’s one more plan to meet your friends for drinks, a game, a walk or something you enjoy. We are hardwired for connection and if we spend the entire summer working and being with kids, we’ll feel it emotionally. Join a group for parents and their kids if you don’t have daycare. Make friends at the gym and drop your sweet pea off at the gym daycare. Ask the neighbor over for coffee. Plan a BBQ with your work friends, and their families if that works better. Just get out and get connecting with other grown ups!

Order In. No one’s going to die if you don’t cook every night. After a long day of dropping kids off, working, picking them up and whatever else you have planned in the afternoon/ evening, dinner might be the thing that puts you over the edge. So, order in. Easy preparation and clean up. Waking up to a dirty kitchen the next morning is immediate anxiety provoking madness and can have us feeling like we are never caught up. So just do it. Pizza it is…again…give yourself a break. No judgement or shame in that game.

Either hire a cleaning company or put those kiddos to work! Another thing to remove from your never ending list of things to do is the cleaning and laundry. Kids are very capable of picking up after themselves, picking up their rooms and bathrooms and helping around the house. Perhaps you implement a routine where before the kids get to play they take 30-60 minutes to help around the house and if they do all their chores each day in the week, they get a reward on Sunday. OR if your kids are not in the age range to help, hire some help. Can you see my pattern here, I am trying to help alleviate things for you to do, and declutter your mind so you don’t go crazy this summer. Create more time in your life to do things that you enjoy, that matter, that are in alignment with your values. If all you are doing are working, chores and managing children, you will burn out, probably lose your patience, not be present and miss out on the small wonders of summer with your kids at this age.

Plan one special thing to do with your family that you call look forward to.  Ask your family for their input, or give your kids the task of planning it out.  Is there somewhere you have always wanted to go?  You can stay loyal or get out of town.  It can a weekend getaway or a week at the beach.  Doesn’t matter, its just something to break up the summer.  You can even do a staycation and camp out in your backyard.  This doesn’t have to be extravagant and expensive.

No matter what, stick to your wellness habits and routines. Just because kids are home, doesn’t mean yoga, meditation, and your messages are out the door. Its even more imperative you stick to these self-care routines to maintain your psychological well being. If you need to, get up before your family, stay up a little late after they all hit the hay, work out on your lunch, or leave the kids with your partner or neighbor and do the things that you know create some sense of balance in your life.

Remember your kiddos are watching your every move and learning from you, so release the guilt, and get to your routine. You are so important and will be the best working parent you can be if you are taking care of yourself. Summer can be extremely difficult and also a ton of fun. Feel empowered to make some adjustments that allow you to manage the transition in a way that is less chaotic and that creates space for enjoyment. And you are not doing it right or wrong, you are just doing the best you can and that is more than enough!

Happy Summer!

To learn more about how I support working mamas click here!

And for more ah-mazing mama inspo…..

109 Strong Mother Quotes

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean