Surviving a Pandemic: More Food, Wine & Amazon Prime Edit

It’s 5 o’clock MST here in Denver, CO and for the sixth or seventh day in a row, I have been fighting extreme nausea all day. The kind where you are afraid you are going to have to excuse yourself in the middle of a counseling session to go hurl in the restroom kind of nausea. A deep and intense discomfort in my belly has been brewing for days and has caused an uproar to all my internal and external systems. I can’t eat, I am anxious, sweating non-stop, unsettled, and wildly uncomfortable. I am drinking too much wine to try and make all the symptoms go away.

It is 2020 – the ultimate WTF year. The year that put all perceived challenging years prior in perspective. Just a bit ago, COVID-19 hit the scene and the world took a pause to brace themselves for what would throw our lives upside down in every possible way. Watching the news on the hour to hear updates and learn new information, while watching the toll of lives lost and those affected by the pandemic increasing completely exacerbated my anxiety tenfold.

To make matters worse, my go-to coping strategies during the toughest times are to start to take on the entire world’s problems, attempt desperately to regain control- which shows up as perfectionism, performing, and irritability, and to numb out by eating too much, drinking too much, and spending too much. In doing so, my anxiety and self-loathing goes next level. I find myself saying yes to all the things, trying to adjust to the new normal with ungodly high standards on myself, just to overextend myself, feel resentful, and end up crashed on the bathroom floor telling myself what a complete and total failure I am. Then more food, wine, and Amazon Prime. I am in a vicious cycle just trying to survive.

Yes, I am a therapist.

I know better, I really do try every single day. I am always a work in progress and willing to do the hard work. Yet, during times like these in 2020, I can no longer hold it all together and exist the same way I have been.

It was in my darkest hour, hugging the toilet petrified and unbearably uncomfortable, where I heard the whisper, “You have a job to do.”

“What do you mean I have a job to do? I do all the fucking jobs. Just living is one big job. Someone else needs to do the job.”

As much as I want to avoid the whisper at all costs, I have a deep inner knowing that if I don’t listen, figure out what the job is and break out of this self-destructive cycle, I simply will not survive the pandemic.

There just has to be a better way to navigate such madness.

Per usual, it was in a still moment that “my job” came to me.

I have to find a way to fully discover and recover me.

For me, and perhaps so many of you, the pandemic has become a pressure cooker for change. In the midst of chaos, the parts of me that are ready to be acknowledged, healed, and aligned are quickly emerging to the surface. I have a new energy around discovering all parts of myself while removing the things that no longer serve me- such as becoming more mindful and courageously evaluating my relationship with alcohol. Spiritual alignment and discovering my superpowers are supporting me mentally and emotionally so much.

I am documenting my journey and am working to turn my story into a guide to help others navigate the uncertainty, loss of control, and complete shit show that is this existential crisis we are living in. I want to inspire and empower individuals to use this great split in time to step forward, emerge, and break down the barriers that have held them down for so long. To discover their light, live in it, and lead the way for others to do the same. And finally, to see this crazy hard time as a spiritual assignment that transforms all of us in such meaningful ways, ultimately paving way for the feminine to rise.

This work matters right now…

Across the globe, no one is exempt from this unthinkable pressure cooker we are stuck living in. The pandemic, along with the racial justice movement, has such enormous energies emerging individually and collectively, and it is having an unprecedented impact on our mental health.

When humans face danger, especially of this magnitude, they subconsciously enter a trauma response. With no control over the matter and no real security in what is happening, our nervous systems are in overdrive. Being in a trauma response, we act in either a fight, flight, freeze, or shut all the way down mode. Typically, this has us acting out of character and shows us parts of ourselves that need attention. Being triggered in these uncertain times, we are finding ourselves reverting back to old patterns. Maybe you were in the recovery of an eating disorder, and then the pandemic hit, and now it is the one way you can feel a sense of control. Or, maybe your drinking was no longer a concern but now you find yourself drinking 1-2 bottles of wine a night just to shut out all the noise. Maybe your credit card is maxed and you keep getting shipments you don’t even remember purchasing. Or, you’re working sixty-five hour work weeks again. Or, sexting that abusive ex-boyfriend.

This can either be a time when we repeat destructive patterns or an opportunity to do the inner work to break free and level the F up.

I invite you to witness my journey and to take any tidbit that may be helpful for you.

May you be loved, healthy, and well during these wild times.

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

How to Heal by Feeling Your Feelings

With everything going on in the world lately, I have been calling on myself and others to search for the larger assignment inside ourselves. Meaning, what has continuously come up during these magic times where things feel like they are out of control. What we seem to collectively be finding, and feeling, are unresolved hurts emerging, letting us know we are ready to do some healing.

What feels like it might be falling apart or out of control could really be falling into place to help us be more in alignment than ever and to make some healthy shifts for ourselves and therefore the collective.

As a therapist, I often get asked:

“Well, how in the heck do I heal?”

“What does processing actually look like?”

“How do I process unresolved feelings and experiences?”

Before sharing some tangible tips on how to heal by feeling your feelings I first want to remind us of a few important things.

First, feelings are actually sensations that are held in the body and they are teachers, pointing us to something that would like our attention. They are guides to get us to notice and acknowledge something we are holding onto. Feelings can be our greatest teachers if we learn to tune into them.

Second, it’s so important that we acknowledge and move our feelings through us- otherwise they become stagnate energy in our systems that can cause other problems. It is my belief that this stagnant energy becomes vulnerable spots in the body that can host other physical ailments. When we ignore our feelings, which we often do if they are unpleasant, they become somewhat like a child in the back seat of a car on a road trip who has to go to the bathroom. They tend to start out telling us “I have to go to the bathroom.” When ignored they will tell us louder and louder until they are screaming to get our attention. Feelings are the same way. They will get louder and louder until we acknowledge them. And, they show up in sneaky and unconscious ways such as overeating, drinking too much, spending too much, picking fights, irritability, lack of motivation, etc.

We are feeling beings and when we continuously feel our feelings we become more self-aware and clear our vessels (brains, bodies, being) to be able to carry more- therefore allowing us to move through our existence more peacefully.

So, here goes… here are some ways to consciously process and feel your feelings to guide your healing:

• Designate uninterrupted time and space to sit in stillness, slow down your breath, and turn your attention inward. You can use a guided meditation to help you or you can do it on your own. Starting with the crown of your head and working all the way down to your toes, begin to scan the body to notice any sensations.

• Once you notice sensations in the body, do your best not to judge, label, or shame them. Make space for them. Meet them with curiosity. Just notice them. Ask it or them what is it they would like to bring your attention to and pay attention to the first thing that comes through for you. It may come through in the form of a thought, an image, a whisper. Whatever it is, trust it and meet it with kindness and genuine interest.

• Imagine you are making space for it in your physical body. Then imagine a bright white light above beaming warm and nurturing light on you and through you, all the way to the spot where you are holding these feelings in the body. Imagine the warm light surrounding the area and creating almost an aura around it. The light is soothing and healing.

• Next ask it what do you need? Again, whatever comes up, trust it.

• Emotions need to be in motion so, to complete the process, engage in an intentional way to move them through you. You can:

  • Talk about it with someone you trust

  • Journal about it

  • Write a letter and never send it and/or burn it

  • Spend time in nature

  • Stretch – do yoga

  • Walk/run

  • Slam medicine balls or punch a punching bag (great for anger)

  • Inner child work

  • Create – art

  • Earthing

• Lastly, if you can, befriend your feelings. Treat them like an important piece of the puzzle that is you and your life. They will guide you where you need to go and will tell you what you need to know about yourself. Feelings are there for good reason.

To feel is to heal.

The more you feel, the easier and more natural it will become. One of the myths I often encounter about feelings is fear that acknowledging them will result in getting stuck in them. Or, that they will become too powerful and overwhelming. I promise you, you have everything you need inside of you right now to work through big feelings. Even the most intense feelings only last about 90 seconds. It’s the stories we tell ourselves surrounding those feelings that keep us stuck.

If you feel the feelings, without story or judgement, breathe/move through it and it will pass.

And the more you work through them, the less likely they are to burst out unannounced.

So, here’s to consciously feeling, my friends.

May this serve in such meaningful ways.

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean

Being In Transition: Part III – Adjusting to Your New Normal

Being in transition is a lot like being on a spiritual journey. The experience is one where you’re confused, in a state of seeking, and not as connected as you would like to be. Just entering the process, you are aware there is a shift taking place in you. You suspect in some ways you are different, but not yet sure exactly how and in what ways. You may even have difficulty expressing this journey you are on to those you love.

You might be a new Mom and your entire role and identity just changed dramatically, making your entire life’s focus around one thing: keeping the tiny human alive. But you might be wondering where the other parts of yourself have gone? Or you might be newly divorced and have no clue how to socialize and court someone you are attracted to. And yet you know deep down you haven’t completely lost your sexy.

In my last two blogs, I have encouraged folks who are in a love, life or career transition to leverage a three step process to guide them through. I have suggested to take time to consciously grieve what and who you were before the transition took place.

Then I offered a potential shift in your mindset that can be helpful while being in transition. To begin to see this often scary and confusing time as an opportunity. An opportunity to become and change coarse. To determine who you will be going forward and how to begin to design your new life. Read the previous blogs here > https://brookejeanllc.com/news/

And once you have arrived to the part of the process where you are crafting the new normal, its time to try this evolved self and life on, and my hope is that you enter this part of the journey with a new sense of clarity and confidence.

But don’t get me wrong, this part takes COURAGE.

You may have fears surfacing that are showing up as thoughts questioning whether or not this new way of being you will be accepted and even liked by others.

This is the adjustment period.

And like most things, it starts and ends with connection.

You don’t have to navigate these new waters alone. Call on your single friends to take you out for a night out. Join your local new Mommy’s support group. Make friends with your neighbor. Reach out to your mentor, old colleagues, your coach or counselor.

Surround yourself with cheerleaders and supporters. This is crucial. Not everyone will understand your journey, and thats OK. You have to live for you!

Get uber intentional with your time. Ensure your priorities are reflected on your calendar and treated with as much respect as a doctor’s appointment. Carve out time for your health, for connection and FUN.

Know that change is hard for all of us.

But we must be adaptable. As a new Mom, a divorcee, an empty nester, back to work career professional, whatever, your days will absolutely look and feel different. Try not to run from this.

Acknowledge it. Honor your feelings around it. And visualize yourself living your best life. Remember why its important to get to that end goal and what its all about.

I know its really tough right now, adapting to your new norm. You might be questioning whether or not you made the “right choices.” Perhaps you are crying while breastfeeding in the middle of the night, in pain and feeling alone. Perhaps you feel empty inside coming home to an empty apartment. Perhaps you are staying late in the office to acclimate and get your bearings on, feeling lonely and wondering what its all worth.

But this is only temporary. It won’t always feel this way. Remember your WHY. You wanted that family, out of that shitty marriage, or the lifestyle that new position at work creates for you.

In order to design the life we want, we have to accept that if we want different, we must be different. We must consciously choose what seems difficult, challenging, maybe even impossible. We have to grieve, become, and adjust.

BUT…on the other side of all of this is a more true and authentic version of you and a life that you experience as ultimately fulfilling. On the other side is feeling free, maybe even inspired and energized. You’ll get to experience new people, places and things.

Witnessing folks come out the other side of this spiritual journey and watching them thrive in ways they didn’t know was possible is what its all about. And what’s cool is that each of us may cycle through this evolution many times in our lives, getting us closer and closer to being who we are meant to be and making the impact we are meant to make. What an true honor and privilege this work is!

Wherever you are in your journey, I applaud you for making it this far and want to lovingly remind you to grieve, become and adjust.

If you or someone you know is in a love, life or career transition and would benefit from having a counselor and coach to guide them through.

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,

XO brooke jean