Storms Help Trees Strengthen Their Roots
Learn about the latest therapy, Brainspotting, and a how it saved me during my PPD/ PPA.
It is a collective experience.
An awakening.
Im just gonna say it, an opportunity.
Whether you are raising your arm in the air whilst yelling “Heck yes, it is!!” or begrudgingly cursing my name under your breathe with yet again another wonky personal development suggestion, either is an indicator that the call is happening inside of you as well.
In other words, whether you resist the notion that we are collectively in an awakening or are already on board, you are being nudged to do the work.
What is the work you ask?
Well, that depends my friends.
I am finding that the work entails deeper healing, gaining increased awareness, letting go of what is no longer serving you in a healthy way, gaining clarity on who you are authentically, or rising to the call of your soul’s calling.
It is all about awakening our consciousness collectively.
So I ask, what can you do with this pause? What can you release to make space for whats rising in you? How can you plant and strengthen your roots to build a solid foundation for your future self to exist on, wholeheartedly?
Here are some questions to ask yourself to discover just that.
Set aside some uninterrupted quiet time and space to sit with these questions, journal what comes up, meditate or pray on it, and allow the information and feelings to find their way to you and through you.
What has felt energy draining lately?
What makes you feel yucky when you do it? (Hint: Boundary Violation!)
What do you say YES to that later you regret (Hello resentment, my old friend!)
What causes you the most guilt?
Who would you like to cut cords with – forgive, stop thinking about, worrying about, being tied to energetically?
What overwhelmed you? Think people, commitments, items/ clutter, unhelpful ways of being/ doing
Ask your intuition in meditation, through journaling, and in stillness what you need to let go of in order to make space for whats rising in you?
Whatever came forward when asking yourself these questions is ready and willing to be acknowledged, released, and let go. Now for the fun part, what are you making space for?
Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,
XO brooke jean
Wellness During COVID-19
Wellness during COVID-19; why your bain and body are responding the way they are to this crisis and therapeutic tools to cope.
Learn how your brain and body are responding to the crisis, and how to cope to experience wellness during COVID-19
Co-Written by Brooke Jean, MA, LPCC and Kristy Eldredge, EdD, LPC, NCC, ACS
Given this time of uncertainty and change, it is common for us to respond with anxiety and fear, often getting stuck in a perpetual cycle of worry, tension, and rumination.
While we all take the practical physical health recommendations of hand washing, sanitizing, and social distancing to manage the spread of the illness, we also need to pay attention to our mental health during this time. Here are some ideas for things you can practice, even within the comfort of your own home. Remember the mind, body, and soul are connected; so attending to the wellness of each component can have an exponential effect on our overall state.
The Body
We cannot effectively manage stress and worry without getting our body involved. Our nervous system is designed to detect and respond to perceived threat – this is its primary job and it has had a LONG time (think evolution) to get this right. Understanding what our nervous system is designed to do and why it does this will allow you to interpret your physiological reactions without pathologizing them. The ability to notice and interpret our nervous system’s responses can ultimately give you the power to regulate the reactions that arise, coming back to a state of safety in your body.
Understanding the Basics of the Nervous System: here, knowledge is a huge part of the battle. Learn to translate your nervous system’s dialogue with you by watching this easy to understand (and entertaining) video:
The Polyvagal Theory: The New Science of Safety and Trauma by Seth Porges
Utilizing the Breath: sometimes we think breathing is simple. We do it all day long, right? However, when we truly breathing correctly, utilizing all areas of our lungs, reaching the air down into the diaphragm, moving the belly in and out the impact is tremendous. Spending even five minutes focusing on inhaling through the nose, exhaling through the mouth (make it audible!) can make a world of difference for your body, mind and soul. For an extra bit of fun, focus on breathing in something you need or want (peace, calm) and exhaling something you don’t need to hold onto (fear, anxiety, anger).
Grounding the body: times of stress pull our awareness into our minds and out of our bodies, which means out of the present moment. When you notice this happening, bring your attention back to the body and the present moment by engaging all of your five senses. Using the physical space around you, name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can feel, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell or taste, and finally 1 thing you appreciate about yourself in this moment. For an extra dose of grounding, wiggle your toes and heals into the floor, feeling the solidness, softness, texture, or temperature of the ground as it connects with your feat.
Exercise and yoga: although many people are choosing not to go to gyms or classes right now, it is important to continue moving our bodies, getting our heart rates up and engaging our muscles. Try out these ideas for at-home movement:
Yoga with Adriene on YouTube.com
Walk / run the stairs in or around your place
Walk /run around the block or if you’re lucky enough to have a park nearby
Active Spring Cleaning: as many of us seem to be motivated to disinfect everything right now, why not make it a productive cleansing of our physical space, to model a cleanse of our emotional space, as well! Our external environment reflects and impacts our internal environment and vice versa. Plus, it’s a great way to keep your body active while inside.
Nourish your Body: whether we are healthy or under the weather, giving our body the nutrients, water, medication, and rest that it needs are frequently overlooked acts of self-love. Listen to what your body needs and respond to it. Ways we might do this include:
Cooking healthy meals
Drinking lots of water
Managing the intake of substances like alcohol, marijuana, sugar, caffeine
Music and Dancing: put on the tunes and move your body! Be silly, graceful, energetic…whatever you’re feeling inside, use the music and dance to express it externally. Find a song that tells your story; use your body to convey that story. If you have someone to dance with dance to make each other laugh, smile or simply connect with (pets are great for this, too).
The Mind
Given that our minds are always active and it is part of our instinctual survival system to focus on the negative, we need to be actively practicing the redirection of our thoughts away from a non-stop spiral of worry. Give some of these strategies a try!
Audio podcasts: giving your mind a conversation or story to follow audibly can help channel the mind’s energy away from its own spiral and into a more productive direction, enjoying entertainment and learning at the same time! Here are some great ones to try:
The Adult Chair
10% Happier
Tara Brach
Oprah’s Master Class or Super Soul Conversations
Where Do We Begin?
Arm Chair Experts
Meditation: practicing the art of present moment observation of our thoughts, without judgment, is an incredible exercise towards a healthier relationship with our thoughts. Meditation allows us to not be ruled by our thoughts but to instead notice them with perspective and self-awareness. Try these apps for a variety of guided meditations:
Calm
Headspace
Insight Timer
10% Happier
The Mindfulness App
Audio books and traditional books: Reading is an incredible way to redirect the mind when it begins to obsess and spiral. Try both the audio and written delivery to see how each can help in different ways. If you’re anything like me, you have at least a couple of books you’ve never finished on your bookshelves. Or for new options, check out these resources:
Free Local library apps:
Libby, Overdrive, Kindle (yes, they access libraries), Hoopla
Audible
Look for inspirational books, especially!
Artwork and Creativity: channeling your thoughts, fears, and worry into works of creativity can not only help you release the energy from your mind and body but can also provide a sense of creation and accomplishment. Using creative modalities to externalize the distress also provides a fun activity to do with family, kids, and partners. Try some of these activities:
Coloring books for all ages
Journaling
Use old magazines lying around the house to create a vision board for what you want your life to look like going forward
Cooking – challenge yourself to your own version of “Chopped” a la the Food Network
Make homemade play dough using flour, salt, boiling water, and either Kool-Aid or food coloring. Add essential oils for an additional aromatherapy element (great for sensory regulation, too)!
Compassion for all parts of yourself: we all have different sides of our selves. From the part of us that manages responsibility and works hard at our jobs, to the part that can let loose with the best of them, it is common for the different aspects of ourselves to have differing responses during times of fear and stress, as well. Especially during anxiety-producing times, check in on the young / child part in you, who likely feels afraid and not sure if they are going to be okay. Compassionate inner dialogue, just like a loving parent to a child, can reassure this part of ourselves that may be genuinely scared right now.
Spiritual or religious practice: if you identify with a spiritual belief system, engaging in this practice, especially during difficult times, can help you stay connected to something larger than the immediate events surrounding us, with a sense of love and connection. Here are some possible ways to practice connecting with your higher power, God, the universe or however you find connection with something larger than you.
Prayer
Meditation
Gratitude
Spiritual traditions and routines like reading sacred texts (Bible, Torah, Quran, etc.).
Acts of forgiveness
Acts of service and kindness
Listening to meaningful music
Giving your negative thoughts to your higher power
Focusing on the power of nature
The Soul
Connecting with others: even if we are serious introverts, the fact is we are social beings. It is in our evolutionary history and in our cells. Thus, when we don’t have regular engagement in some way, we can feel dysregulated, lonely, and just generally unhealthy. Here are some ways to engage with others even if they aren’t in your immediate environment.
Video phone calls
Marco Polo app allows for sending videos back and forth
Take pictures of what you’re doing and send to friends for picture conversations
Look through existing photo albums
Good old fashioned phone conversations
Play games with others online
Watch live streaming events such as the Seattle Symphony Orchestra
Remind yourself that there are people in the world who truly care about you even if you aren’t currently able to connect. As your therapist, I am one of these people who cares about you!
I hope that some of these ideas will spark your interest and invite you to be active in your efforts towards wellness over anxiety during this difficult time. Focus on what you do know, the choices you do have (even if they’re not your favorites) and the ways that we can still connect with others. You certainly have your own individual go-to strategies so make sure you’re listening to yourself and nurture your own needs.
One last note, I am currently offering a BRAND NEW online series called Tame Your Anxiety: Tending To Your Nervous System. In under an hour learn how to calm your anxiety by tending to your nervous system and understanding how perceived threats affect your brain and body. Walk away with knowledge, insight, and 5 life-changing therapeutic tools.
For further support, book a call with me today
Contact co-author Kristy Eldredge, EdD, LPC, NCC, ACS:
Kristyeldredge1@gmail.com/ 720-284-2031 (p)
Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,
XO brooke jean
Putting the Mindfulness into March
How are you finding the good in every day? Brooke Jean Counseling and Coaching shares some tips for Mindfulness in these days of uncertainty.
Friends, March 2020 came in LIKE A FREAKING HURRICANE. The whole world feels turned upside down and I know many of us are deep in our feelings about the impact of COVID 19 and all of the subsequent closures. It’s scary and it can be a lot.
In my recent VLOG, I shared ways to use Mindfulness as a tool during times such as this, times of extreme uncertainty. Recognizing and creating space for the fear and anxiety at the moment is necessary, but so is also making a point to look for the good in every single day.
Here are some simple tips for helping all of us find the good in each day. These are tips to help us all stay well in our mind and body. I hope you all enjoy slowing down, pausing, and considering these tips for Mindfulness.
Pause and take 3 deep belly breaths.
Notice the clouds moving in the sky.
Pause and notice 5 things you see, smell, hear, taste and feel.
Take a walk with a smile on your face.
Take mini-pauses and breathe when transitioning from one thing to the next.
Set a timer on your phone to remind yourself to check in on your thoughts, feelings and body sensations.
Meditate – I love the Calm app!
When eating or drinking something, pause and notice the smell, texture, and taste. Slow the process down.
Remind yourself, you are enough. Say to yourself, I am enough.
When you find yourself worrying about the future, just notice you are doing it and gently bring your awareness back to the present moment by focusing on your breath.
Listen to your favorite music, dance and notice how that feels in your body.
Write out a daily mantra or intention and check in on it throughout the day.
Mindfulness is the state of being completely present, meeting your thoughts, feelings and body sensations with curiosity and acceptance- and without judgment. It is a state of being and a healthy way to regulate, connect, heal, and grow. I wish you all love, acceptance, and patience with yourself. May you have a #MindfulMarch.
Whatever came forward when asking yourself these questions is ready and willing to be acknowledged, released, and let go. Now for the fun part, what are you making space for?
Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,
XO brooke jean
How to Advocate for Yourself on the Job to have Work/ Life Balance
Hear how to advocate for yourself on the job to have work/ life balance in my interview with Mom Blogger and co-owner of Beyond PR Group, Beth Feldman.
How to advocate for yourself on the job to have work/ life balance- An Interview with Beth Feldman – Founder of the Role Mommy Blog and Co-Founder of Beyond PR Group.
In my summit, Moms Living a Life they Love, I interviewed several brilliant, power-house business women who are also Moms on how they overcome barriers to have both, a successful career and flourishing family.
This down-to-earth and brave working mama thought outside of the box and had the courage to ask for what she needed to have both family and a big career. Beth Feldman experienced great success working for CBS before launching her own entrepreneurial endeavors. Using the gifts she already had, she launched two successful companies/brands.
She is the co-founder of Beyond PR Group, a a full-service public relations consulting firm founded by leading experts in the parenting, consumer, lifestyle and entertainment PR industry. She is also the founder of RoleMommy, a parenting blog network, online community and events company dedicated to inspiring, entertaining empowering today’s busy parents to pursue their passion while raising a family.
As a nationally recognized parenting expert, Feldman is frequently interviewed by national and regional news media on career re-invention, social media, parenting tweens and work-life balance. She has appeared on broadcast news programs such as “Good Morning America,” “Nightline,” Better TV, ABC News Now, Fox News Channel, “Inside Edition,” WCBS-TV and CW-11 Morning News and has been quoted as an expert resource by national news sources such as Associated Press and The New York Times. Feldman is the co-author of Peeing in Peace: Tales & Tips for Type A Moms (Sourcebooks) and is the author and editor of the humor anthology See Mom Run – Sidesplitting Essays from the World’s Most Harried Moms (Plain White Press).
In my interview with her she shares:
How essential is it to advocate for yourself to get what you want.
Be daring, courageous, and creative!
Use skills and connections YOU ALREADY HAVE.
Tips on how to start blogging.
Values – let them steer and guide you….
Go to Beth’s blog Role Mommy for some hilarious and helpful stuff!
Learn more about how my coaching program can help you advocate for yourself at work here!
Don’t forget to Subscribe on YouTube!
Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,
XO brooke jean
Inspiration for Working Women who want to have kids or already have them
Inspiration for working women who want to have kids or already have them by a power-house Momprenuer.
There is not much I am more passionate about than helping women know they don’t have to choose career or family, they truly can have both and in this interview we share inspiration for working women to want to have kids or already have them.
In my online interview series, “Moms Living a Life they LOVE”, I had the privilege of talking to successful, powerful, mompreneurs about how they have BOTH thriving businesses and loved families.
We address the taboo topics no one wants to talk about to normalize the challenges, pressures, expectations and realities we face as working mamas.
Hear from these FABULOUS ladies just how they do it, what lessons they have learned and be prepared to feel inspired.
Don’t forget to Subscribe on YouTube!
Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,
XO brooke jean
Know When to Slow Down
We have to know when to hustle and when to listen to our bodies and slow down.
The moment I had been waiting for for over three years had finally arrived. I had graduated from graduate school, launched my counseling and coaching private practice and been building it like crazy, and was still working for Studio 10 Interior Design as their Business Development Executive/ Client Relations/ HR/ Counselor-On-Duty. All while juggling being a wife, mom, friend, daughter, neighbor, you get the picture. Most days were absolutely nutty and I would fall into sheer exhaustion at night. I didn’t have much left to give, but I was passionate about all I was doing…and grateful for all the opportunities the universe was presenting.
It was like my psyche and body was waiting for me to just slooooow down a little to break down a lot. After my final day at Studio 10, and a fabulous going away might I add, I woke up to what felt like a glimpse of death. I had envisioned skyrocketed productivity now that I could channel all my work energy into my business, and my passion. I dreamed of this moment that I could take the leap of faith and fly on my own. I imagined it to be inspiring, peaceful, and monumental.
None of the which came to fruition.
I was bedridden for days and felt weak, depressed, and worthless.
My husband was making my Theraflu tea for me for fuck’s sakes. THAT’S MY JOB!!!!
The internal battle of knowing what I needed to do to tend to my illness versus what I wanted to do as a productive go-getter was exhausting. So, I threw in the towel and sat my ass back on the sofa. (And yes, I only started to use the word “sofa” after working for an interior design firm.)
We have to know when to hustle and when to listen to our bodies and slow down. Trust me, as a type A personality I know how hard this is. Often, we are oblivious to how run down we really are because our own strength keeps us going through the motions.
You’ll know when you’ve gone too far. You’ll get ill or have a panic attack the second you get to relaxing on vacation. And when those signs are showing, rest your bones and turn your attention inward. What is your mind and body trying to tell you?
What have you been neglecting in yourself lately?
How do you rest, recharge and play?
Start each morning with a mediation to check in, take lots of breaths throughout each day, including two adult time-outs, a bath at night and write in your journal before bed.
I hear all the time from clients, “I don’t have time!!”
Well here’s the brutal truth (because we all know its my style to break it down in this way), if you don’t take preventative measures for self-care, you’ll get grounded to your sofa for a week (which turns out to take more time than the preventative measures).
Ask for help.
Once I accepted that my husband needed to “baby” me, I began to enjoy it. I felt taken care of, which was an unfamiliar feeling, not because no one’s ever taken care of me, but because I have it in my head I don’t need help and therefore don’t let them.
As human beings we can’t be everything to everyone, every minute of everyday. Its actually impossible.
So, let’s collectively rid ourselves of the unrealistic ideal of success we have created and settle into knowing we are enough and are doing enough.
Let’s take care of ourselves and therefore each other and encourage one another to be sensitive to the needs of the human spirit.
We can do amazing things in this life without working ourselves into illness.
And once I realized this epiphany on my sofa, I acknowledged that my time turning my attention inward led me to some insight I wanted to share.