The 4 Myths of Happiness (Copy)
Hello! (In my best Adele voice) Thank you for visiting my blog and reading my VERY first blog post. I am beyond thrilled to share my journey and learning’s with each and every one of you. I had no idea how important connecting to my purpose was until recently when graduation and opening my private counseling and coaching practice came to fruition. Many twists and turns in my life led me to this point…the point of living my purpose of healing and helping others. There is something spiritually meaningful about knowing deep in your soul you are on the right path and feeling that what you are doing is significant. But how did I get here??? It certainly wasn’t a clear and easy road.
Growing up, I tended to be a caretaker. Being the first born of three children, I had the opportunity and duty to help take care of my siblings. When my sister was born with a brain tumor, our lives were turned upside down. I realized at the tender age of eight years old just how precious life was, and also how fortunate I was to have my health. Witnessing my younger sister’s strength (along with my families’) to overcome major health obstacles, I became inspired by how happy this little girl could be while suffering and fighting for her life.
On the darker side, and yes I believe there is almost always a darker side to things, I developed an intense pressure within myself to not be a problem adding to the family distress. This self-discipline (it was not expected of me, I solely created it) evolved into a perfectionist, people pleasing personality which led to many more problems down the road. I did well in school, impressed people socially, and was active in extracurricular activities. That was until middle school – when my organic development (searching for my identity) collided with my anger turned inward – where things started going downhill. As my heath began to deteriorate with an eating disorder, my sister’s health was much better and she was stable. Life is all about balance, isn’t it?
As I began to recover and was back on track in high school, my brother was facing serious struggles. Thinking back, my parents really never got a break. It’s not my place to share his story in detail but let’s just say he is a warrior in his own right and we all learned just how important mental health is.
In college, I became pregnant with my son. What a blessing and surprise that was. I would have been on the ten year plan and was having a little TOO much fun. Cleaning up my act, I wanted to graduate on time, and have a steady job lined up beforehand. That is how I ended up being a leader at Target. They had a paid internship and in that experience I saw a reliable career that could support my son and I (his father and I parted ways when I was pregnant and have co-parented ever since.)
Ten years climbing the corporate ladder flew by in a blink of an eye, and my son was growing up way too fast. I met my husband at Target and life was looking up. Everyone’s health was intact (for the most part) and life was unfolding as it was supposed to. My career however took a toll on me. The people pleaser in me did not know how to say “No” and was trying to prove my worth through work accomplishments. When paired with the skeletons and demons whom I had locked in my closet, the scenario led to a severe case of burn out, among other things.
Many of you probably know about and have been affected by the horrendous Aurora theater shootings which occurred across the street from the Target store I managed. Many of our team members were in the theater that night and, devastatingly, we lost one of us that night. Witnessing the grief, confusion, fear, anger, strength and resilience of the community reconnected me to my personal values and desire to help others in a different way than being a leader for a retail organization.
My heart was broken but my natural response during this crisis was to tend to my team’s wounds and in those dark moments my purpose emerged like the sun rising.
I knew I wanted more out of my life and that many things needed to change. I needed to define my worth in ways that were authentic to me, not based on my work performance. I needed to get into therapy and tend to my own lifelong wounds. I needed to be a better example to my son regarding taking care of myself and the world deserved my gifts that were being hidden by my insecurity.
Bravely, I decided to make the move. Leaving Target, because of the people I so dearly loved, was one of the toughest decisions I have ever made. I was known by many and made a good living. BUT my work didn’t have the type of meaning I so desired and longed for. I needed to create balance in my life and starting over felt like the best (and scariest) way how.
I applied for graduate school to get my Masters in Counseling at Regis University and 2.5 years later here we are. What a journey academically and self-reflectively it has been. I am forever transformed and so absolutely clear with who I am (although I will always be a work in progress), what gems I offer the universe and what my purpose is.
Now I get to pay it forward. I get to guide others in finding their authenticity and shining organically in the world. I have the privilege of being with human beings as they work through the deepest parts of themselves while digging to find their gold. I get to reconnect people to their individual values and help them live in a more present and meaningful way.
You will find that many of my blog posts will be true to my story, vulnerable and real, while also providing some information and tips on how to become the best you.
I would love to hear from you! What’s your story? And how has it connected you to your purpose? What wellness tips are you most interested in? Please do always share your thoughts, feelings, and feedback with me.
