Put Your Well-being First: Don’t Get Sucked Back Into the Soul- Sucking Self- Sacrificing Vortex
hey loves! happy summer. happy june!
Happy less freaking masks. With life re-energizing and things opening back up, I am witnessing people, especially people-pleasing perfectionistic type working women and mamas (aka ME!), being lured back into the old way of things pre-COVID-19. The glamorization of busyness, grit, discipline, and self-sacrifice is completely and undoubtedly suffocating and quite frankly, needs to die.
I felt that the Pandemic helped us collectively realize what the hell actually matters most. In the last year, we started prioritizing health, wellbeing and our families over everything else. We began taking breaks at work, taking walks over lunch, and clocking out early for that at-home yoga class. We learned to be flexible and that shit can get done in an untraditional way, such as when it works best for us.
We acknowledged the mental and emotional wellbeing of ourselves and those we care about. We took bold action and made big moves such as literally physically moving where our soul has been longing to go, left marriages that weren’t working anymore, left jobs and started new businesses that were more in alignment with who we really are and our higher callings.
And yet, here we are, so soon being pulled back into the old paradigm, the outdated way of being. I can feel the pull myself and am also witnessing my bad ass working mama clients fill every minute back up on their calendars with shit that no longer fires them up. Those gaps in their schedules are now being intercepted with appointments, meetings, and to-dos based on other people’s expectations, kicking out the walk, the meditation, the nap, the emotional check in, the connection with loved ones.
We are all of a sudden feeling guilty for doing our self-care and working less than 8-10 hours when in all honesty, our 6 hour work day is more productive than some other’s 10 hour work day. We are feeling like we owe someone something.
We did our part, taking one for the team during the Pandemic. Sacrificing our work and our sanity to remote teach our kids and adjust to all the changes thrown at us. We’ve BEEN taking one for the team since the beginning of time. We deserve spaciousness, grace, and appreciation for all we’ve done. We deserve flexibility at work so we can do all the things we do. And we NEED to put our wellbeing first so we can carry on.
The Pandemic became a pressure cooker for change, dismantling the paradigm that told us that we need to work hard until we die. This is clearing space for the new paradigm to emerge and come forward as the new way of being. One where we value the feminine by beginning to acknowledge the inherent gems women have, unique strengths buried under societies BS expectations such as intuition, sensing, creating, collaborating, reading a room, etc.
When we push to produce, perform, achieve, and perfect day after day irregardless of our cycles or what else is going on in our worlds we are more vulnerable to burn out and experience serious mental health concerns. I am NOT here for it anymore. Too many amazing women are suffering in silence with depression, anxiety, binge eating and drinking and all sorts of other ways of coping that are holding us back from feeling our best and therefore living a life we whole-heartedly desire.
So, my love, please please please do not fall into that old trap. Do not be manipulated into believing that busyness is a good look or that you need to do or be more than you already are.
May we turn our attention inward, regulate our nervous systems and fill our tanks. May we breathe deep, dance hard, and laugh often. Shed the shoulds. Protect your precious resources like energy, time and intention fiercely. Say No. Ask for help. Take breaks. Move your body. Breathe. And for fuck’s sakes, rest and re-charge because this is just the beginning of the new way of being. We have some work ahead in creating the new paradigm for how we work, how we define success and how we shine bright in the world. NO biggie. We gots this.
