EPISODE 85

Healing Narcissistic Abuse: Dr. Onalee's Four-Step Recovery Process

What core wounds are keeping you stuck in unhealthy relationships, and how can self-love and spirituality guide you toward healing?

I had the most incredible conversation this week with Dr. Onalee. We dove deep into a topic that affects so many but can be really hard to talk about—narcissistic relationships.

Have you ever been in a relationship where you feel like you’re walking on eggshells? Or maybe, no matter how much you give, it’s never enough? You’re constantly being manipulated, gaslighted, and made to feel like you’re the problem. Dr. Onalee’s shared about the emotional rollercoaster, how these relationships can be addictive, and why it’s so hard to break free.

One of the key takeaways from our chat was recognizing the signs of narcissistic abuse. Narcissists have this way of making you question your reality, and before you know it, you’re caught in a cycle of self-doubt and blame. She really broke it down in such a relatable way. If you’ve ever felt that “push and pull” or the constant need to prove yourself, that’s a big red flag. And, oh honey, does it create a massive emotional and mental drain.

What’s wild about these toxic relationships is how they mirror addiction. Dr. Onalee explained it in such an eye-opening way. Much like substance addiction, being involved with a narcissist can trigger a similar cycle of highs and lows. You’re drawn to the “high” moments, those fleeting times when everything seems perfect, and you think, “Okay, maybe this time it’ll be different.” But those moments don’t last, and the low moments hit you even harder.

Healing from this addiction takes work—serious inner work. We talked about reclaiming your power and breaking free from the cycle. It’s not easy, but it is so possible. Dr. Onalee emphasized the importance of recognizing your core wounds—the deep emotional scars that keep you stuck in these cycles. Once you understand where your pain is coming from, you can begin to heal. And that’s where the magic really happens!

One of the things I loved most about our conversation was how she weaved in the role of spirituality in her healing journey. For her, finding peace and purpose wasn’t just about healing the emotional and mental wounds; it was also about connecting with something greater than herself. She talked about how spirituality helped her understand her worth on a deeper level.

This resonated with me so much because spirituality, in whatever form it takes for you, can be such a powerful tool in the healing process. It gives you perspective, a sense of peace, and a foundation to build a new, more empowered version of yourself. Dr. Onalee stressed the importance of learning to love yourself—not just in a superficial way, but really learning to value and cherish who you are at your core.

Another powerful part of Dr. Onalee’s story is her journey to sobriety. She shared how giving up alcohol wasn’t just about cutting out a bad habit; it was about stepping into a deeper form of self-love. When we’re in pain, we often turn to things—whether it’s relationships, substances, or distractions—to numb ourselves. But the real transformation happens when we face our pain head-on, with compassion.

Sobriety and self-love are so intertwined for her. By choosing sobriety, she chose herself. And that’s something we can all take to heart. Whether you’re struggling with addiction or just trying to break free from old patterns, it all comes down to making the choice to love yourself enough to let go of what’s no longer serving you.

I think the biggest takeaway from this episode for me was learning how to RECLAIM YOUR POWER! Whether it’s breaking free from a narcissistic relationship, overcoming addiction, or simply learning to love yourself more deeply, the power is in your hands.

I hope you feel as inspired as I did by this conversation. If you’ve ever struggled with toxic relationships, addiction, or self-worth, know that you’re not alone—and there is a path to healing. Remember, you are worthy of love, peace, and happiness.

Connect with Dr. Onalee

Website: www.doctoronalee.com

Instagram: @dr.onalee

Podcast: The Coming hOMe™️ Podcast

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other!

XO, Brooke Jean

    • Brooke welcomes Dr. Ona Lee, who is dedicated to helping people recover from narcissistic relationships through a four-step program.

    • Dr. Onalee shares her personal journey and professional focus, which stem from her own experiences and extensive background in therapy and coaching. 

    • Approaching relationship toxicity as an addiction and introduces the framework that has led to her own recovery and now aids others in healing.

    • The signs of a narcissistic relationship and explains how such relationships can feel addictive. The patterns of narcissistic behavior rather than a formal diagnosis and highlights how the feelings of walking on eggshells, being gaslit, and feeling disempowered can indicate an unhealthy relationship.

    • Recognizing and healing a 'core wound' of not feeling chosen.

    • The dynamic between narcissists and wounded empaths, focusing on how empaths often feel unworthy and overly empathetic, leading to people-pleasing behaviors that allow continued abuse.

    • Four-step process to heal from core wounds, particularly for those who feel unseen, unheard, or repeatedly betrayed.

    • Choosing oneself, recognizing and walking away from unhealthy relationships, and trusting one’s own intuition rather than the narratives imposed by narcissistic individuals.

    • The complexities faced by women in these relationships, including the impact of societal gaslighting and the challenge of discerning one's reality.

    • The role of spiritual connection and self-trust in the healing journey, advocating for a return to one's true self and a higher power as pivotal steps towards recovery.

    • Self-compassion and the importance of self-validation over seeking external approval.

    • Addressing core wounds related to needing validation from others and advocates for choosing oneself.

    • Understanding and transforming unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as addiction, through emotional maturity and self-love.

    • The transformative power of self-care post-toxic relationships.

    • Acknowledging one's past actions without shame, and evolving towards healthier life choices.

    • The profound impact of recognizing and overcoming various addictions, from alcohol to unhealthy relationships. 

    • Listening to internal signals and how their conscious choices towards self-respect and self-love have led them to a more fulfilled life.

    • Hitting rock bottom and how these moments provided the clarity needed to make lasting changes.

    • The concept of redirecting addictive behaviors into healthier, more sustainable habits and the power of extracting positive lessons from past struggles.

    • Advocating for a shift in perspective to recognize every hardship as a stepping stone towards one's true purpose.

    • The four steps crucial for recovery and mentions advanced programs like Woman in Power or Man in Power to help individuals regain their confidence and self-worth.

    • Dr. Onalee values ongoing conversations with listeners and appreciates the opportunity to connect with her community.

CONTINUING THE CONVERSATION

I hope that you’ll join me in this movement, and that you can authentically reconnect with who you really are. That’s where your essence and your gems really lie.

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Thanks so much for listening!