Today we’re addressing a topic that shows up for me and for so many people in my personal and professional life - the mid-life crisis. I’ve reframed it to the mid-life awakening. 

Have you ever woken up one day, mid-life, and asked yourself - “Is this all there is? Is this all I am meant for? Is this the life I’m meant to have?”

There’s two ways that we enter a mid-life awakening - sometimes it’s a big kick in the fanny when your entire world falls apart and you can build a new. Other times it’s a slow and torturous burn, where anxiety continues to creep in and a longing for something more is brewing in you. 

either way, it’s normal to wake up one day and question everything. 

In last week’s episode I spoke about one of the causes of anxiety being that we aren’t on the right track. Our anxiety is a clue that we need to take a look at ourselves and our lives. Whichever way you get there - whether it’s the kick to the fanny or the slow progressive burn - let’s normalize one day getting there, and one day questioning everything. Let’s normalize knowing deep down that it’s time to change course. 

With change comes different stages - the first being contemplative, where we consider the possibility of change, followed by the liminal space, where we are in the trenches of the in-between and the unknown. This space is often the most uncomfortable of all, because our brain wants control and wants to know what’s coming. The liminal space completely cuts that off, and it’s time to start getting comfortable with that.

You’ve left the old and haven’t yet reached the new. Let me help you embrace it. Our brains and our nervous systems really don’t like being here, so we really need to hunker down and look inward.

some things you can do when you’re in it: 

1. Notice what’s happening. Identify your experience as what it is – your mid-life moment.
   

2. Change your mindset. You aren’t in a crisis, you’re in a necessary pivot to get you on the right track. You’re in an awakening. Hunker down and cocoon yourself – don’t jump out of this prematurely. Slow down, turn your attention inward, implement habits of journaling or meditation or enjoying your cup of coffee. Regulate your nervous system with breath. When we do that, we begin to open up our channels to our higher self and intuition. It can look like joining a process group. It can look like buying a beautiful journal and writing after you put the kids down. It can look like going on a walk at lunch or going on a hike on Sunday. The key is just to slow down. 
   

3. Manage your mind so it’s not managing you. You do this with awareness and mindfulness. Become an observer of your thoughts and your scary stories. Know that they are there for protection, and that they are often untrue and unhelpful. Identify these thoughts as your gremlin and not your truth. 
   

4. Allow yourself to dream a little. Ask yourself a version of the miracle question - if I were to wake up tomorrow and could be doing anything without limitations, what would it be? Nothing is unreasonable. See yourself living your best freaking life.
   

The reality is that these mid-life moments lead us to the deep, juicy questions. If I could be anywhere with anyone doing anything, what would it look like?

If you are in the midst of transition – I know it’s hard. I know you want to foresee what’s happening to protect yourself and your loved ones. But here’s where I ask you to slow down, get still and simmer, and build a practice around attuning to yourself. I want you to grieve your loss productively, and visualize what’s possible moving forward. 

i want you to see this unraveling as an opportunity to come home to yourself, to get right with yourself, and to take action toward creating a life that you actually want. Not the dream that you've been sold. 

I assure you that it’s happening for you. You are falling apart on purpose. Transitions often kickstart the most epic transformations. 

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other!

xo, brooke jean