In today's episode we are back to embracing the wild and unfiltered sides of motherhood, because we’re getting into part two of the Messy Mama Moments series!

If you've been with me for a while, you might remember that the third episode ever dropped on this podcast was all about those Messy Mama Moments. This series is far from over because let's get real here — being a mom is a beautifully chaotic journey that keeps on giving.

Now, picture this: you're a mom juggling a million things, and sometimes life throws you those curveballs that leave you feeling like you're alone on an island of chaos. That's where the power of sharing our struggles comes in.

As a mental health professional, I'm here to tell you that staying silent about the ups and downs of motherhood can be incredibly harmful. When we think we're the only ones facing challenges, shame takes over, and we start that vicious cycle of self-criticism and anxiety. Let's break that cycle, shall we?

In this unPERFECTED Mama community we're all about breaking down those walls of isolation. It's not about pretending everything's perfect. It's about acknowledging the struggles and, in doing so, starting the journey towards healing. We're all on this journey, learning, growing, and sometimes struggling. So, whether you're a new listener or you've been here since day one, make sure to catch up on episode three where I kickstarted this series.

now let's dive into my current messy mama moments as of august 2023.

Here's a gem from last week — my daughter, out of the blue, casually drops the bomb that she likes daddy a smidgen more than mommy.

Yeah, you heard that right. This nugget of wisdom came while we were cruising to school, enjoying some JoJo Siwa tunes. No tantrums, no meltdowns – just a completely ordinary morning, or so I thought.

She just lets it right out – "Mommy, I kinda like Daddy a teensy bit more than you."

Hold up! Did she forget the months of pregnancy, the dietary sacrifices, the marathon labor? And yet, somehow, Daddy's golden. And don't get me wrong, I adore their special bond, but a little sting and maybe a smidge of resentment? You bet.

Now, let's move on to messy mama moment number two – the heart-pounding experience of screaming at neighborhood kids who decided to play hide-and-seek in my house. Talk about unexpected adrenaline. Chaos ensued and I frantically searched for them, panic creeping in. I really couldn't find them for a minute, so I ran out to the backyard, the front yard, the side of the house — they're not there. Now I’m CLEARLY panicking because it's not only my child I can't find, but it's several children that I can't find. And I am going to be honest, I went into a full-blown fight mode trauma response because I got really scared.

I came back in the house and I started screaming like a sociopath, “CHLOE, WHERE ARE YOU?!”

They finally come running out of the closet and they're all lined up looking at me like deers in the headlights.

In this moment I had the awareness that I was shouting at children and that's not really the mom I want to be, but I was so freaking scared. I know that I can get extreme when I'm not regulated and I'm not taking care of myself. 

And finally, for messy mama moment number three — mommy and daddy haven't had enough time to connect. So mommy is taking out her anxiety on daddy. Daddy's probably taking out his anxiety on mommy. Shit's getting weird in here and Chloe's asks me, “hey, why do you hate daddy?” Yep, that happens. That's part of the wide range of normal.

You are not alone if you're questioning yourself. We have all been there in some area of our life. But this is why we need to talk about it.

We all have self-doubt. We all wonder if we could be doing this different or better. We all wonder if we're messing our kids up. It's normal to have that experience. But when we say it out loud, our sisters can go, oh my god, I'm struggling with that too. And just by saying it out loud, you move that stressor out of your body. You eliminate shame around it.

so mamas — know that you are enough. you are doing enough. embrace your fricking messy. shed the shoulds and let's normalize the wide range of normal.

I hope you found yourself in a speck of my stories today so you can feel less alone. And may you join us in the Mommy’s Mental Health Matters Facebook group and share your messy there because we will not judge you. We will laugh with you, we will cheer you on, we will show you support, we will make sure you feel heard and seen and understood.

Know that this journey IS supposed to be messy. It's not that you're bad or that you're doing it wrong. You're doing it right if it's this hard.

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other!

xo, brooke jean