Today I’m going to share with you how I gained 2-3 hours back into my day FOR MYSELF, without guilt. 

But first, let me start by asking you –  are you a mama who is finding herself waking up in the morning to anxiety, rushing around, trying to get everyone where they need to be on time, spilling coffee on yourself, finally getting your kids where they’re supposed to go, rushing into your day, hopping into meetings, skipping your lunch because you’re behind, not finishing your work and having to pick up the kids from school, going home and making dinner, getting the kids ready for bed and then finally crashing at 10:00pm with your first moment of solitude on the brink of burnout with nothing left? 

You're giving yourself all day long, but you aren’t mastering anything.

This podcast is an invitation to jump off of the hamster wheel and charge your own battery. 

This was my life previously, and something had to give. It wasn’t easy, but I just knew I had to rearrange some things. When I decided to switch things up I gained time back for myself, and I am here to teach you how to do the same.

Here’s how it’s done:

1. We have to start by updating your beliefs. Look at your current beliefs around creating more time in your day – what are you telling yourself about the possible change? We have to clean these thoughts up and make sure they are aligned with the upcoming version of you. 

Even at this moment, with me telling you that you need more time for yourself in your day – what beliefs are coming up for you? Maybe it’s that there is no time, or that taking time for yourself is selfish. Notice what your beliefs are, and update them with reframing and reprogramming. 

let’s use the example of “self care is selfish.”

We are first going to write down the belief, and then we are going to write out a new, updated belief that we want to live by. Turn “self-care is selfish” to “self-care is selfless.” Or “when I take care of myself I show up better for the ones around me.” Or “there is always time for what matters most.” Write down the old belief and write down a new belief that you want to have. 

When the old thought comes up, pause and repeat the new belief. Repetition will rewire your neural pathways, and you will start to believe it. 

2. Pull out your calendar and brain dump everything you do in a week on a piece of paper, even if it's 42-pages long. Making the kids breakfast, driving to work, moving through meetings, driving the kids to practice, making dinner, doing laundry, etc. First give yourself the validation of the fact that you DO do a million things.

We’re then going to remember the 80/20 rule: 80% of your outcomes come from 20% of your effort. Sit with that for a moment. 80% of your outcomes come from 20% of your effort.

Because that 20% is so crucial, we have to get clear on what our 20% should be. What are the most important things you should be spending your time, energy and sanity on? I like to call them your big potatoes. Find them by getting clear on your core values and looking at the things that matter most to you, and then start representing them on your calendar. There’s always going to be stuff we have to do, but those are what we refer to as the little potatoes. 

Take the list of all the things you do and highlight the big potatoes (date night, travel, workout class, whatever it is). Then look at the things left over and ask yourself – do I really need to be doing these things? Or can I delegate and outsource some of the things? 

3. Ask for help. Divide and conquer with your partner if you have one – they are perfectly capable of taking on some of the workload. My partner and I split the workload and trade tasks. See if your partner will wake up the kids and get them ready half of the time, take them to practice half of the time, or break up the weekends to have a half day to yourself. I take this Saturday and you take next Saturday. If you don’t have a partner, ask your neighbor, your parents, your siblings, your friends, your older kids, other soccer moms – make trades. Ask your boss if you can come in late on Fridays or leave at 3 on Tuesdays. 

We don’t all need to be doing all of the things together all of the time. Don’t be afraid to divide and conquer, and ask for what you need.

we need to get out of our own way because these pockets of time add up.

4. Choose your open time wisely. Don’t get caught up on your to-do list or on the little potatoes. Unless it’s in alignment with your core values, you shouldn’t be doing it in this new found time. Connect with a friend, journal, practice yoga, learn something new, go in nature, rest, recharge - let yourself chill. Do something that’s actually restful for you. 

5. Manage your mind and practice your boundaries. Remind yourself of your reprogramming and updated belief system (self-care is selfless). It’s on you to build the muscle that helps you come back to your intention. Protect your space. That’s where the real work lies, but on the other side we find freedom. 

Get clear on what matters most, set beautiful intentions, and drive change in your life. You DESERVE IT!

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other!

xo, brooke jean