Have you ever wondered why the wounds of your past show up when becoming a parent and in ways you never expected them to?  

Motherhood is a beautiful journey, but for a lot of us mamas it can unearth some wounds from our past that we never saw coming. Our children, make us face ourselves in ways that we literally wouldn't because of trauma. It's when we surrender to the healing journey that we can fully begin to shift our maternal identity to become the woman and the mama that we are meant to be.

This week my friend and soul sister, Kendra and I shared a juicy, vulnerable and unperfected conversation. We discussed her experience with childhood trauma, the challenges of motherhood, and her path to self-discovery.

**Before we go any further, I do want to give a trigger warning and mention that this week’s episode includes conversation around childhood sexual trauma.

Just before we sat down to record this podcast, Kendra had brunch with her mom, whom she’s had a lifetime of struggles with, even periods of no contact. She showed up after a profound healing and triggering conversation, so everything we planned to discuss went out the window and I met her where she was at in the moment and it created this beautiful conversation. Kendra was brave and strong to share her story and I am just so grateful for it.

Kendra and I are new friends, but it feels like we’ve known each other for a lifetime. Wife and mama of two, she is a motherhood coach dedicated to redefining success in motherhood and beyond. Her passion for rewriting the modern motherhood experience so women can enjoy the F out of their own lives while raising the next generation, is something I truly admire.

Kendra shared how she was sexually abused by her father as a child and how the way her mom has shown up through her healing journey has impacted their relationship. Throughout her healing journey, Kendra’s mom never talked with her about the trauma that happened. Her mom was doing what she thought was best which was providing for her and doing all the things a mom does. However, what her mom saw as taking care of her, Kendra saw as sending her back to the one who hurt her.

After leaving home, she continued to push through the trauma and had a wildly successful career in sales in Silicon Valley. Yet, she was always looking for the next best thing. It wasn’t until years later she recognized she spent her whole life disassociated from her body because of the trauma and her response to the trauma was perfectionism and overachieving, something I am sure a lot of us mamas can relate to.

This type of response is a common trauma response that no one talks about. It's what my whole brand is built on.

A trauma response is overachieving because we are running from our bodies. We are running from our truth because we cannot stand what's in our bodies. And then we hide our trauma behind our achievements.

As she entered motherhood, Kendra uncovered the true mother wounds of her past, which played a significant role in how she viewed her child and and effected the relationship with her mom. She realized how disassociated she’d become with motherhood and the bond she craved with her child after having no bond with herself. When Kendra finally surrendered to the healing journey and accepting the matrescence, is when she began to feel free.

Kendra also shared that it has been a journey with restoring the relationship with her mom, they are currently coming out of a no contact period. It wasn’t until the brunch Kendra had prior to this podcast that her mom finally acknowledged her trauma.

“My mom said, Kendra, I understand now that the trauma isn't just the event, it's what happened after.”

Whoa.

Kendra said she believes motherhood gave her the ability to not just feel one thing anymore, but to feel multiple things at once. And I love that she said that because there isn't a rule book, there isn't a rubric for healing the mother wound. But if you can just allow yourself to be without any attachment to outcome and just navigate as you go, all the experience and all the emotions then we will find our way through.

It was so inspiring to chat with Kendra in this episode. Her energy is magnetic and she’s rooted in her authenticity, even as she is healing and becoming. I just love it.

So, remember my love, there can be beauty, joy, fun and play and pleasure even while navigating the messy and the hard things in life. I am so glad you are here.

Connect with Kendra!

Website: www.kendra-williams.com

Instagram: @its.kendrawilliams

TikTok: @its.kendrawilliams

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other!

XO, Brooke Jean