If you are in the same Mom Guilt basket as the rest of us, it is okay, mama! Noticing the cycle of mom guilt, and what you keep “should-ing” yourself about, is part of the process in breaking free from this voice. In order to kick this Mom Guilt to the curb, we need to put in the work to uncover the unconscious beliefs we tell ourselves about what it means to be a “good mom.”
Most moms are all too well aware of it… the voice. You know the voice, that nagging one in the back of your head. It’s the voice that says you should have done more for your kids… you should have shown up to that game when you had a conflicting client meeting, or you should have made the birthday treats from scratch instead of store bought. We like to call that voice Mom Guilt.
Many of these beliefs that we hold as ultimate mom truths stem from antiquated standards. From the time we are young women we are observing and absorbing what it means to be a good enough mom, whether from our own mothers and grandmothers or from main-stream media. These influences tend to set the “rules” we should live by, or the standards we should hold ourselves to. This is SILLY. Guess what ladies, having a home cooked meal on the table every night, and being on the PTA, and managing a career, and getting the kids to practice, and doing household chores, and having a side hustle, it just doesn’t all work anymore.
We are all stretched way too thin and in way too many different directions to hold these standards as truths. The image of the modern mom has to adapt and update to the current world we are in, and this means being kinder and gentler to ourselves about not having homemade dinners on the table or having to miss that game. When you feel yourself being pulled into the Mom Guilt, and before you go beating yourself up, follow these steps in fighting the cycle:
- Stop and identify the belief before it gets going.
- Take time to examine the belief.
- Is it true?
- Is it helpful?
- Is it relevant?
- Proceed in your truest self!
So mama, the next time you are feeling like crap and that oh-so-annoying Mom Guilt voice is getting louder in your head, stop yourself and ask these questions. Put that Mom Guilt in its place… on the curb with all the other junk that no longer serves you.
If you would like to explore more action items for handling Mom Guilt we invite you to learn about our Kick Mom Guilt To The Curb online course. Or, contact Brooke with Brooke Jean Counseling and Coaching here.