Effective ways you can improve your Self-Esteem doing inner child work.
Are you struggling with knowing your worth, and are feeling ready to improve your self-esteem?
You are amongst many, my friend.
How is it that we can see the good in others but struggle to honor the same in ourselves? Well…because we lost sight of who we were before the world told us who we are supposed to be.
Growing up, we absorbed all sort of messages about who and what we were supposed to be and those around us only validated or invalidated those theories. For example, “Thats a good girl!” Does that resonate with you? Just by hearing that message, you may have internalized that being polite, respectful and without an opinion meant being a “good girl.” So, you may have learned to behave that way which still shows up today in your personal or professional world.
Perhaps you got praise when you scored the winning goal in your sport or when you brought home straight A’s, which led you to learn that perfect performance equals worth and praise. Insert the beginning of your perfectionistic tendencies…
What you were told from your parents and any other influential people growing up became part of your internal dialogue. If you heard you are bad, your inner critic might be telling you that you are bad. The problem is, just because we have those thoughts, feelings and beliefs does not mean they are true and/ or helpful.
The world’s expectations of us are relentless and never-ending. It’s an impossible task keeping up, and as a result, our positive and healthy feelings regarding ourselves begin deteriorating.
Low self-esteem is usually a result of not knowing yourself, knowing your worth, living authentically and owning both your strengths and struggles. To have healthy self- esteem, you can start by discovering who you really are and working toward full acceptance, beginning with your inner child.
So, if you’re ready to improve your self-esteem, set some time aside to reflect, look at old pictures and videos and journal.
Ask yourself who you were when you were little.
What interests, natural strengths and passions did you hold?
What were your deepest values, and how was your identity formulated?
What were you naturally good at and was there a period of time when you deviated from that path or focus?
More times that not, we heard a disapproving message from an influential adult who told us our work wasn’t good enough, so we ditched it and never looked back. Maybe you haven’t written a poem since your English teacher humiliated you in front of your peers. Or haven’t played your instrument or that sport or tried something new because you have a belief that it’ll never be good enough.
Throughout this reflection, you are basically giving a voice to your inner child, remembering what mattered most to him/ her so you can reconnect to that person and bring him/ her back, ultimately strengthening your current sense of self. Because you are awesome, just the way you organically are.
If your inner child had something to say, or needs that weren’t meant, it can very powerful in therapy to do some deeper work with him/ her to heal parts of your past and re-develop in a more congruent and healthy way.
From a place of knowing your gifts AND being okay with your imperfections, you can begin to improve your self-esteem and begin living more authentically, which often times, promotes stepping into your light and power and living well.
That is my hope for you and all of us. I am right there with you on this journey of becoming.
And if you would like to learn more about this work or need support, don’t be afraid to reach out here!
Take care of yourselves and therefore each other,