Perfectionism & People Pleasing


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PIA MELLODY DESCRIBES SELF-ESTEEM AS “HOLDING SELF IN WARM REGARD DESPITE IMPERFECTIONS AND LIMITATION.”

In my experience, I have become deeply aware that a common universal struggle amongst humans is the lack of seeing and believing in our worth.  How is it that we can see the good in others but struggle to honor the same in ourselves?  What we were told growing up became our internal dialogue.  People believe they are lacking and yet have to go out into the world and present themselves as happy, confident, and content.  This incongruence can cause dysfunction and disruption to your overall wellness.

In a world filled with media, pressures, and standards it is easy to become someone and something we are not.  Tending to your authenticity will enable you to build a stronger sense of self. In our work together, we will explore who you were as a child before pressures and expectations got in the way, what interests and passions do you hold, what are your deepest values, and how was your identify formulated.  We will challenge ways of thinking and being and create who you are now which can result in improved self-acceptance, confidence, and a decreased need to perform and please.

In therapy, we will also address your inner critic (internal dialogue)  head on.  Who’s voice is it?  What is it telling you?  How does it impact you?  Then we will work to defuse you from the negative self-talk.  We will work to discover how being a perfectionist and placing immense pressure on yourself is serving you and how to set more appropriate goals, ones that are in harmony with your life and create inner peace.

Setting actionable and manageable goals and celebrating each will also be a part of this process, while addressing any guilt, shame and fear that may arise in this process.

We all have limitations and imperfections but they are only a part of us, they do not determine our worth.  Working to build a stronger sense of self, while accepting and making piece with your dark side will enable you to embrace all parts of yourself and live more vibrantly.  You will gain insight into why you are the way you are, while learning new coping skills and strategies to live in alignment to your values,