The moment I had been waiting for for over three years had finally arrived. I had graduated from graduate school, launched my counseling and coaching private practice and been building it like crazy, and was still working for Studio 10 Interior Design as their Business Development Executive/ Client Relations/ HR/ Counselor-On-Duty. All while juggling being a wife, mom, friend, daughter, neighbor, you get the picture. Most days were absolutely nutty and I would fall into sheer exhaustion at night. I didn’t have much left to give, but I was passionate about all I was doing…and grateful for all the opportunities the universe was presenting.
It was like my psyche and body was waiting for me to just slooooow down a little to break down a lot. After my final day at Studio 10, and a fabulous going away might I add, I woke up to what felt like a glimpse of death. I had envisioned skyrocketed productivity now that I could channel all my work energy into my business, and my passion. I dreamed of this moment that I could take the leap of faith and fly on my own. I imagined it to be inspiring, peaceful, and monumental.
None of the which came to fruition.
I was bed-ridden for days and felt weak, depressed, and worthless.
My husband was making my Theraflu tea for me for fuck’s sakes. THAT’S MY JOB!!!!
The internal battle of knowing what I needed to do to tend to my illness versus what I wanted to do as a productive go-getter was exhausting. So, I threw in the towel and sat my ass back on the sofa. (And yes, I only started to use the word “sofa” after working for an interior design firm.)
We have to know when to hustle and when to listen to our bodies and slow down. Trust me, as a type A personality I know how hard this is. Often, we are oblivious to how run down we really are because our own strength keeps us going through the motions.
You’ll know when you’ve gone too far. You’ll get ill or have a panic attack the second you get to relaxing on vacation. And when those signs are showing, rest your bones and turn your attention inward. What is your mind and body trying to tell you?
What have you been neglecting in yourself lately?
How do you rest, recharge and play?
Start each morning with a mediation to check in, take lots of breathes throughout each day, including two adult time-outs, a bath at night and write in your journal before bed.
I hear all the time from clients, “I don’t have time!!”
Well here’s the brutal truth (because we all know its my style to break it down in this way), if you don’t take preventative measures for self-care, you’ll get grounded to your sofa for a week (which turns out to take more time than the preventative measures).
Ask for help.
Once I accepted that my husband needed to “baby” me, I began to enjoy it. I felt taken care of, which was an unfamiliar feeling, not because no one’s ever taken care of me, but because I have it in my head I don’t need help and therefore don’t let them.
As human beings we can’t be everything to everyone, every minute of everyday. Its actually impossible.
So, let’s collectively rid ourselves of the unrealistic ideal of success we have created and settle into knowing we are enough and are doing enough.
Let’s take care of ourselves and therefore each other and encourage one another to be sensitive to the needs of the human spirit.
We can do amazing things in this life without working ourselves into illness.
And once I realized this epiphany on my sofa, I acknowledged that my time turning my attention inward led me to some insight I wanted to share.
With an open heart,